Fortuna
by Sheis1963
Summary: "...to any outsider they were still good ol' House and Cuddy, M.D., throwing jabs and driving each other mad but, away from hospital grounds and prying eyes, they were Mr. and Mrs. House, royally screwed." - Cuddy needed a new Pediatrics yard and House... a wife. Just a fun, light fic written for the help lisa action on LJ.
1. Oops, my bad

This was supposed to be an one shot but I like to live dangerously. It's just a small multi chaptered fic (5/7 chapters) to have some fun, no drama on this one, promise...

Enjoy!

* * *

"Have you all just suddenly gone stupid?"- House barked at his team. - "Seriously, tell me! Cause I can see no other explanation why you would suggest Fucosidosis as a diagnosis on a 22 year old man!"

The team looked like frightened little children getting yelled by their father for not doing their homework, Taub was looking at the ground whilst Thirteen and Chase were glancing at each other with helpless looks in their eyes, kind of silently crying for help.

"In case you idiots didn't know, a gene for this fun disorder is found on chromosome 1, and a similar gene sequence can also be found on chromosome 2. An individual must inherit two copies of the defective gene in order to develop Fucosidosis. Now, here's the tricky part: Fucosidosis is a _rare _storage disease found in children between the age of three and eighteen months!"

Wilson sat in the back of the differential room, he was supposed to take House out for lunch but noticing his mood, he decided to just quietly sit in the back and wait till he finished dismembering his team.

"Sometimes I wonder if you went to med school at all!" House rubbed his hand on his forehead, trying to sooth the throbbing head ache that was stubbornly pissing him off since he'd woken up that morning.

"In order to spare your idiot souls of embarrassing yourselves further, I want you all to disappear from my sight and only come back when you have a decent explanation for our patient's angiokeratomas. Now, shoo!".

Wilson waited until the room was cleared of all the ducklings to move from his strategic place. He made his way to the coffee machine, asking House if he wanted one in the process.

House just grunted and nodded at Wilson, with the ginourmous pain in his head caffeine was something rather appealing to him at the moment and if he didn't have any self control he'd kiss Wilson right the second he handed him the black nectar of Gods.

"Rough day?" Wilson asked smirking.

"You'd think those idiots were able to do their jobs without me having to rip my head off out of frustration!"

"Relax, House… So the Scobby gang wasn't on their A game today, there's no need for massive murder, I could swear Taub was praying for his life."

Wilson couldn't deny that he found the whole thing very amusing, of course he felt sorry for House's minions, but the evil side of him couldn't help but to love watching grown adults metaphorically pee their pants in fright.

House just glared at his friend's annoying smirk, making his way to the comfortable environment of his own office and, instead of taking a hint, Wilson followed him in.

"So… I take it we're not going to lunch anymore…?"

Before House had the chance to send Wilson to a certain place, a knock on his office door drew his attention off of his soon to be former best friend.

"Excuse me, gentlemen. I'm Arnold Dubois, I'm looking for Dr. Gregory House, I was told this is his office."

Ah, great - House thought - Cuddy was punishing him again by sending clinic patients to his office. Someone, somewhere decided that today was the day everybody would put his mental health to the test.

Not bothering to pay much attention to the elderly man, House dismissively replied - "Sorry, Dr. House is not here at the moment. Come back never."

Arnold Dubois had been told about Dr. House's charming bed side manner so it didn't take a genius to realize the man he was looking for was the one currently lying on the ottoman chugging down a cup of coffee.

"I'm the attorney responsible for Ms. Gertrude House's will…" - he made his way inside the room , sitting on the opposite chair of the glassed desk.

The mention of that name spiked both House and Wilson's attention.

House stood up, headache forgotten for a slight moment.

"Carry on…"

Arnold smirked "I see I've caught your attention Dr., maybe we should discuss this in private.." - he glanced at Wilson.

"James here is my secretary, he can stay"

Doing his characteristic superman pose, Jimmy rolled his eyes and glared at House. He made his way to his friend's previous place and sat there, attentively listening to the man across the room, sipping on his coffee. After the secretary comment he should have left but curiosity took the best of him, he couldn't help but to succumb to his prying tendencies and wait for the mystery to unwind before his eyes.

"Okay then…" - Arnold started - "As I said before, my name is Arnold Dubois, I represent Gertrude House and I'm here to discuss some aspects pertaining to her last wishes."

House's brain was automatically searching through his name database in an attempt to identify Gertrude. She was obviously family, the name kind of gave it away, but he couldn't match anyone to it. He just nodded for the attorney to continue.

"Unfortunately, Gertrude passed away a few weeks ago and I was hired by her sister to make sure her will would be executed according to her wishes."

"I don't remember ever meeting Gertrude." House was trying to orderly fit ever puzzle piece to its rightful place.

"Right, Gertrude House was your late uncle's wife. Jack House, your uncle was your father's brother."

Realization hit House's face.

"Anyway, I was told to come meet you, Dr. House, to let you know that you're entitled to some of Mrs. House's possessions. I have something I ought to read to you, if I may…"

The doctor nodded.

Arnold cleared his voice - "Something not of your concern… umh… let's see…" - he scammed through the sheet - "…oh, yes… and I wish half of my money to be left to my nephew, Gregory House, accompanied by my two properties in Jersey , under the conditions stated on the attached letter."

Both House and Wilson were dumbfounded, so House got a rather large amount of money from an aunt he used to visit when he was 9 years old, and by rather larger he meant really really large.

"What?" - was all House could muster - "So, what you're saying is that I'm ridiculously rich?"

Dare Wilson say, he saw a smile grace House's old, beat up face.

"Well…" Arnold started

"I'm rich!" House repeated, already reconsidering the whole not believing in God thing.

"Well…" - Arnold tried again - "There's just one small catch…"

House scoffed "Of course…"

"As you might be aware, your aunt was a very religious person. She sates here, on the attached letter concerning your part of the will, that in order for you to get access to the money, you must be married and devoted to the work of the Lord, or the money will go to one of her favorite charities."

The look on House's face was one of terror.

Arnold continued "You must me married to a respectable woman who…"

Without even realizing he was speaking, House blurted

"I have a wife."

Wilson's eyes almost popped out of his face and instead of saying something he'd surely get his ass beaten for, he chose to innocently sip on his now cold coffee.

"Oh, that is wonderful news. When can I meet Mrs. House?"

As if on cue, House's office doors stormed open, no one but Lisa Cuddy walking in, oblivious to the matter of discussion at the moment.

Without even hesitating…

"Here she is now!" House said cheerfully, pulling his best poker face.

Wilson chocked on his coffee, the black liquid spilling all over his shirt. He couldn't believe what House had just done, there was no way he could survive this… Cuddy was going to kill him! She was actually going to kill him dead. Oh boy…

Scrunching her face in confusing Cuddy stood, looking at House.

After smiling at Cuddy, Arnold turned his attention back to House and spoke - "Well, Dr. House, this will be easier than I expected! All we need to do is arrange an hearing where both you and your wife sign some papers and we'll be all set."

Upon hearing those worlds, Cuddy opened her moth to speak, only to be stunned to silence when House grabbed her by the waist and planted a quick kiss on her lips.

Wilson was just about ready to die.

"I'll call you tomorrow." - the attorney stated as he grabbed his briefcase - "Dr. House, Mrs. House, I'll see you both in the next few days."

House, with his hand still on Cuddy's waist, pulled her further towards him, dragging her away from the path leading to the door, letting Mr. Dubois leave the room.

* * *

The next chapters are already written but I can still use some suggestions, oh, pissed off Cuddy is so much fun to write eheheh.

Ps: updates Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays sound good? lemme know.


	2. Oops, my bad - Part 2

After the initial murderous impulses, it was really amazing waking up at 3am with my phone going bonkers with emails from fanfiction .net. Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews c:

Oh and _lenasti16 _drew my attention to the fact that I had forgotten to mention if House and Cuddy were together or not... they aren't. At least not now. It's a lot more fun making the disaster happen :P

* * *

"HOUSE?!"

Cuddy was ready to kill the diagnostician. Right there, cold blooded murder, no hesitations. Her face was red, and her usual nurturing ocean eyes were glistening in fury, House allowed himself to linger on her appearance for a while, deciding it was best not to mention how absolutely hot she looked, he chose life.

"Ookay, then… I'll be off…" Wilson tried to leave, he knew his friend was an hopeless cause so he might as well save himself while he could.

"You stay right there!" Cuddy turned towards him, the look in her eyes making Wilson's blood run cold. Turning her attention towards her previous prey, intensifying her glare, she continued.

"You are **_both_** going to explain to me what the hell just happened! Why, for the love of God, did that man just call me _Mrs. House_?!"

The two big, manly men were scared shitless. One thing was to have Cuddy yell at them, as she would so often do, when they'd go against hospital rules, the other, was to have her scream at them when her voice was, roughly, three decibels higher.

"Look, calm down…" House tried.

"Calm down? Calm down?! Don't you dare telling me to calm down, House! I demand an explanation for what just happened or, so help me God, I will chop off your balls with a pair of tweezers."

Upon hearing Cuddy's threat, House grimaced, looking at Wilson, pleading for help but unfortunately,"Bros before hoes" seized to exist once vital organs were at stake.

"Okay! Don't chop off my balls just yet! Listen to me…"

For both House and Wilson's relief, the Dean took pity on them and, out of sheer force of good will, she decided to listen to the crazy explanation House was just about to blurt out. She sat on the chair Arnold previously occupied and nodded at him - "Go on then…"

"So… okay, before you freak out you must promise to listen to the whole thing!"

"I can't promise anything."

"C'mon, Cuddy… You have to at least let me properly explain why you shouldn't remove my most prized possessions from their rightful place…"

Cuddy sighed.

"Okay…" - House took a deep breath - "That man you just saw leaving my office was a lawyer. He represents an aunt of mine that, unfortunately for her, died a few weeks ago. Now, Mr. Dubois there just presented me with very satisfying news, as it turns out, my dear aunt left me a generous amount of money and some of her properties here in New Jersey…"  
Cuddy opened her mouth to speak, to ask House about her involvement in the whole thing. He just raised his hand, stopping her from doing so and continued…

"I'll get to your part in a minute… As I was saying, my aunt left me some things in her will, but, because I just can't catch a break, she also stated that I'm only to receive the money if I'm married and a devoted Christian, and this is the part where you come in."

House bit his lip,deciding to let all this information sink in, his brain on alert in case he had to make a run for it. Maybe Mexico wasn't that bad after all... After a good 30 seconds, Cuddy finally spoke,

"So, let me get this straight: you told a lawyer that I was your wife in order to get an inheritance left to you by an aunt who, obviously, doesn't know you at all?"

House started to protest but decided against it when he realized Cuddy was just about right.

"Yes, that's pretty much it…"

"Are you mad?!" She could not believe House had the nerve to do something like this. Well, actually, she could.

"I'm sorry, Cuddy, but I couldn't let that money go to charity! I panicked!" He was also clueless about the reason why he'd dig himself in such a deep hole.

"House… do you have any idea the repercussions your little stunt might have? You could go to jail… hell, I could go to jail!"

Meanwhile, Wilson was just standing in the back, praying he could go unnoticed long enough to make an escape.

"Nobody is going to jail, Cuddy!" House started "We just pretend we're married for a couple of days and then forget this little accident ever happened."

"You know what, House, for a genius, you're a pretty dumb idiot! Don't you think they're gonna check? Don't you think they will first confirm you're being honest before handing you a gigantic amount of money? God..."

"Oh…" That hadn't occurred to him. Shit.

"'Oh' indeed, House. I'm out! I don't want to have anything to do with this. I want my name out of it." Cuddy was dead serious and House was really starting to think about begging her to reconsider. Yes, beg! Lisa Cuddy of all people. He was _**that** _desperate.

He tried again "Hear me out-"

"You could get married" There goes being invisible, Wilson thought.

Both House and Cuddy turned their heads to the oncologist, the mere shock of Wilson's suggestion leaving them speechless.

"I mean, you get married just long enough for House to get the money and then get a divorce." The way Wilson was speaking looked like he was simply discussing what to eat for dinner. On the inside he was shitting his pants.

"Don't be an idiot, Wilson. If I were to agree to do this…" - Cuddy started - "… don't you think they'd find it a little odd that we got married after House found out about the money?"

Before Wilson could reply, House chimed in,

"Wilson, you brilliant imbecile! That's it! We go down to the courthouse, we get married and then..." - both the other two doctors looked at him expectantly - "... we fake the date and voilá!"

Cuddy simply rolled her eyes while Wilson just sighed. House's stupidity had reached astonishing levels.

"That could work..." Of course House's bff would stand by his side, she thought.

"You are both completely out of your minds! There is no way in hell I'm agreeing to this. Absolutely no way!" Cuddy had set her mind. She was not marrying House, there was just no way.

"I'll do 6 months of clinic duty"

Let the negotiation begin, Wilson sighed, allowing himself to stay further across the room, letting House and Cuddy work their stuff out, possibly without him getting hurt. He could only hope...

"Are you kidding me? You think you can convince myself over 6 months of clinic duty?" Cuddy merely scoffed.

"One year"

"No"

"18 months"

"No"

"C'mon, Cuddy! Be reasonable." House pleaded.

"I'm the one being unreasonable? I'm sorry, House but I'm not going down with you..."

And just as Cuddy was about to leave the room, House said something that completely raised the negotiation to whole a new level...

"I'll donate enough money to the hospital for the new pediatrics yard."

Wilson raised an eyebrow, he had to admit House had pushed the right button. The ball was on Cuddy's court and he couldn't tell if she was going to swing it or let it pass.

Stopping dead in her tracks, she slowly turned her head back to House and by the look in her face, House knew he'd won.

And then, James Wilson spitted his coffee all over his pants, for the millionth time that day_. _

* * *

I spotted some spelling mistakes on my previous chapter, I apologize. If you find any on this one, lemme know.

~it's scientifically proven that those who leave a review are 78% more likely to be ravishingly superior human specimens. Science.


	3. Penny For Your Thoughts

I didn't proof read this - imma rebel, ya know?

* * *

As usual Cuddy gave in, she was once again sucked into House's crazy downwards spiral of insanity. She was now officially Mrs. Gregory House and also, not so officially, a criminal. Yes, even if she hadn't necessarily been the one to forge the date on that damned piece of paper she was just as guilty for getting carried away by House's manipulative ways.

_I'm doing this for the kids_.

In order to cling onto the remaining shreds of her sanity, she kept repeating this mantra to herself, it was the only excuse she could find as to why she accepted marrying the world's worst marriage material that did not include the words 'damage' and 'brain' in it.

It has been a couple weeks since they signed the papers, it was almost surreal the way it all happened and how she let it happen.

House was hard to read, he was so shrewd of tongue that every time she'd try to rationalize their decision or the consequences of their actions he'd throw a lewd comment at her and shut down the possibility of an adult conversation entirely. He shrugged it off as it being a way to get the money and nothing else, no ulterior motive, no hidden agenda, no nothing - just an easy way to get what he wanted.

But for her, things were different, she felt different. Not only that, but she felt _**something**_. It started just as a slight twinge in her stomach, restlessly tugging on her insides - then it grew, turning into something unknown to her, burning like a flame of gas.

PPTH didn't know about their little elopement, to any outsider they were still good ol' House and Cuddy, M.D., throwing jabs and driving each other mad but, away from hospital grounds and prying eyes, they were Mr. and Mrs. House, royally screwed.

* * *

House was conflicted, he' d been living with Cuddy for over a week now, (Arnold Dub_shit _insisted the meeting took place in their "family" home) and he didn't necessarily hate it.

At first, upon finding themselves living under the same roof, they felt the need to walk on eggshells around each other, it was awkward and uncomfortable. There were no screaming matches, no boundary pushing and that was unusual. They acted civil with one another which was scathingly unnatural to them .

Sleeping in the same bed, even if just literally sleeping, awakened memories and questions long ago buried in their minds. Memories _and_ feelings.

A couple of days later they found a way to get pass the initial awkwardness, deciding it was best not think about their current situation and just go with it. Ignoring the neon yellow elephant with flashing warning lights in the room seemed like a good way to help them cope.

But that didn't prevent their brains from trying to process their situation.

House never once thanked Cuddy for doing this form him which only infuriated her further, she was letting him get into her head.

And Cuddy kept silence treating him, patronizing his decisions at work, not able to separate their private lives from their professional relationship, pissing him off beyond belief.

After a week, things started to get normal-ish. They'd argue about everything but still with a slight hesitation to fully push each other's buttons, silently agreeing not to kill each other whilst their living arrangements were still completely and utterly insane.

House was enjoying himself, there was no denying that he'd always have a soft spot for Cuddy. She was damaged, in her own way, damaged just like him. They were so similar and yet completely the opposite of each other.

He needed Arnold to hurry the f up. He couldn't allow himself to get sucked into a place he'd no longer be able to escape from, he couldn't let himself belief this was real or that Cuddy was doing this for motives other than a new pediatrics yard for her precious little hospital.

So they were both living in a strange sort of limbo.

House liked having her around.

Cuddy liked having him around.

But both of them were too damned stubborn to actually talk about their feelings towards each other.

* * *

Thank you so much to everybody who took their time to review, it means a lot to me c:

Next chapter I shall throw some fluff in your faces.

~One review a day keeps the doctor away...

[You might have notice chapters have titles now, I'm getting fancier]


	4. For You Suffer Fools Gladly

As promised, here's a new chapter! Some of you said you'd like to read more about the whole getting married process so I tweaked this chapter a bit, lemme know if you prefer it this way or if you like to just have this story be a kind of skim through thing (I'm not making any sense here, am I? oh goody...)

Thank you **so much** to all of you who left a review and added this story to their favs - I heart you all bunches!

Now, let's play a little game I like to call 'spot the Shakespearean reference'...

* * *

"It's funny how they have been acting towards each other, and it's even funnier to just kick back and watch them make the disaster happen.

Today is the day the world as we know it ends. No, not because some alien race is coming down the atmosphere but because two of the most complicated people in the world are about to be stuck with each other forever. I don't think these idiots will ever get a divorce, they will make excuse after excuse on why it will never be the right time, mostly on House's part, he's so deeply in love with her it's actually painful to watch him struggle with himself. Cuddy is miserable and I can't help but to feel happy about it, not because I like seeing her mope around every corner of the hospital when she thinks no one is there to watch her, but because I know this misery is her way of punishing herself for letting her emotions take control, I strongly believe that once she accepts how she feels and once she stops thinking so much about what other people think, she will be happy. With House.

Cuddy is a lot like you, you know? She's so strong but so fragile at the same time and I can't help but to admire how bravely she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders, she does it with such grace and poise. She's a fixer. She fixes people and problems all around her and I'm not just talking about the hospital, I'm talking about her family, her friends, strangers... me. When you went away she didn't nurture me, she didn't sugar coat the situation, she pulled me from the dark place my life had fallen into, giving me back my life, and yet, she can't seem to glue the pieces of her own broken soul together.

House... well, House is House. Normally one would say that in an utterly negative way but I know him, I know better. He's a good person and I know that even you felt that. He's an arrogant son of a bitch who pushes every limit possible to get his way but you know what? If you think about it all the thing he does, all those rules broken were never or hardly ever for his own personal gain. It's always to help a patient or someone close to him, in his own way he's also a fixer. Except now, I guess, he's being a complete selfish jackass, manipulating Cuddy into a life I'm sure she'd never, in her right mind, wish for. Good for him.

Well, it's time I to go watch my two best friends make the biggest mistake of their lives. I'll see you next week, I miss you. I can't help thinking how would it be to be in their places and have you with me forever."

James lifted himself from his spot on the ground, shuddering as he felt the cold rock surface underneath his hands, the single white rose left behind him with a promise to come back again the following week. He was healing, slowly, but healing nonetheless.

Leaving Amber behind week after week was starting to get less painful.

* * *

"When I said you would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till you were married." Wilson shouted in a mock English accent as he saw House approach him, he couldn't help himself.

"Ah-ah-ah" - House replied dryly, he was limping heavier than normal, which was normal in the light of his little situation.

"Lighten up, man! It's your wedding day, you should be proud." Wilson would seldom feel like anything was better than mocking House when he had no way of retaliating, it was sort of a guilty pleasure to see him squirm underneath his own venom traps. This time House only grunted at him, not bothering to dignify Wilson with an answer to his ridicules, and Wilson, obviously, like any best friend would do, kept using House as a derision target.

"You're even wearing a tie..." - Wilson continued, merely in mock - "... and an ironed shirt! It's an excellent match to that wretched look on your face." - And, so as to really piss off the groom, he then added - "Awe, you think the bride will sport the same misery ridden expression too? Ahh, young love!"

"Shut up, Wilson." House found himself to be way too much of sitting duck for his own liking, deciding to put an end to Wilson's little party of one, he made his way to the blue Alpina parked down the road.

* * *

Lisa Cuddy was the perfect representation of a nervous wreck. Hours prior to what should, in theory, be the happiest day of her life, she kept running around her three bedroom home trying to make some sense of a situation impossible to grasp - if you're fond of your mental health, that it.  
Wilson had offered to come pick her up, but she knew House would be with him so she chose to decline his invitation in order to avoid her soon to be - _gulp _- husband. As ridiculous as it sounded, she'd promised herself only to be within a five mile radius of House when and/or if strictly necessary, she couldn't trust herself around that man... bad things happened when Gregory House was concerned!

Sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she reluctantly grabbed her Lexus keys and, not before smoothing down the lines of her mint colored dress and fixing her hair in the mirror, she made her way out the door. To get married. To House - _shudder._

* * *

"Cuddy!" Wilson called out once he saw her arrive.

House turned his attention towards Wilson's line of vision, inwardly cursing himself for letting his body react so instantly to her presence. She was indeed a sight to see, her hair, usually tamed and neatly immaculate, was cascading down her shoulders, letting a mass of wild curls frame her sculptured face, giving her a sort of effortless looking aura. The green-ish dress was loose on her waist but somehow complimented her figure perfectly, something that always intrigued him was how she'd always manage to take two opposites and create an undiluted match. Goddamn her.

"Hey..." She greeted the two best friends.

_Ooh goody_, Wilson thought, they were both so damn miserable it was boisterously fun to watch.

"Let's get you two lovebirds married, shall we?"

As if on cue, both House and Cuddy let out sorrowful grunts, only making Wilson's annoying smirk grow bigger. They avoided eye contact at all cost, the weird cloud of stress hanging from their heads stealing all their nerve and energy to actually muster a response to that whole situation.

* * *

So next chapter, fast forward to later days or do you want details of the ceremony?

~Recent University studies show that reviewers have an increased level of awesome genes.

(ps: if anyone is up to beta this stuff, please contact me, I'm way too lazy to proof read anything I write.)


	5. I Now Pronounce You

Okay, first of all, thank you for taking time from your busy schedules to leave me a review :) Some of you told me you'd like to know more details about the story but there was also some who said that they found detailed chapters to be uninteresting and boring so I'll try to please both parties!

This is like the suckiest chapter I've written but please forgive me, I have so many tests coming up I can't even make myself pass has a fully functional human being without a few liters of coffee.

* * *

Apparently, if you wanted to be with someone for the rest of your life all you had to do was say it, loud and clear, before a judge and a witness of your choosing, some simple 'sign here's', exchange rings, throw in a bit of money in the mix and you were married. Simple. No questions asked. No one questioned your motives, people just assumed you were doing it out of unconditional and reciprocated love.

"Sign here..." - _scribble, scribble_ - "...and here..." - _scribble, sigh, scribble_ - "...and here..." - _scribble, grunt, scribble_ - "Congratulations Dr. House, Dr. Cuddy you are now officially husband and wife!" - _shudder, gulp, shiver_.

It was time for that cliché of a moment when the groom sweeps the bride off her feet with a breath taking kiss, wrapping his strong arms around her waist, murmuring in her ear hopeful promises of a long and happy life together, promises of a happily ever after that bring tears to the eyes of the young, beautiful newlywed.

Except in this case the bride and groom weren't avidly in love, they weren't young and naively inexperienced, they were two broken souls, too damn wounded and fragile to throw themselves blindly into a fervent love affair. Also they were kind of criminals.

But they _had_ to kiss each other.

Having... Almost sounded like a sacrifice, Cuddy thought sadly, it sounded like something bad that in reality should come as natural to them as breathing. It shouldn't be that way.

But they _**had**_ to kiss each other.

All eyes in the room were turned to them, expectancy waiting for that passionate moment that would forever bind them together as husband and wife. It shouldn't be so hard.

House licked his lips nervously, she could tell he was feeling just as uneasy as she was, if not more. They locked eyes for a few seconds, reading many unknown emotions in each other's intense blue irises that were left undiscovered and masked for the sake of self preservation. He slowly lowered his lips to hers, careful and tentative, suddenly aware of all their history together. Their lips met, it felt wrong and right, so completely out of order and so entirely fitting. He remembered how smooth her red lips felt against his own, all those feelings he'd made himself bury underneath his armour broke through the shield, cursing through his blood stream, untouched by time.

With a swift motion, and suddenly aware of big line they were crossing, the kiss ended. The devastating wave of disappointment rushing through them completely ignored by both parts.

Cuddy cleared her throat, trying her best not to look into House's intense gaze, the judge smiled knowingly at them and Wilson had internal meltdown. _Mazel Tov!_

* * *

Mr. and Mrs. House, followed by their faithful companion and friend, James Wilson, stood outside Cuddy's beautiful home.

"So..." - said Wilson - "Here we are..."

House rolled his eyes, Wilson could be so goddamn annoying at times he had to really pull himself together not to make his cane end up in a very dark and painful place.

"For God's sake, Jimbo, I think it's time for you to scram the hell outta here. We can handle this!"

Cuddy looked at Wilson and, feeling House staring at her, waiting, once again, for her to enable him, she reluctantly nodded her head, using some of her false confidence that so often got her through her Administration duties to make the oncologist believe she had the tiniest bit of control over the situation. She most obviously didn't though.

Leaving them behind and praying they would make it through the weekend without killing each other, the concerned best friend made his way home, secretly pleased with the day's events, letting a smirk grace his lips when he found himself out of House and Cuddy's line of vision.

* * *

The couple was awkwardly sitting, side by side (more like glued to each end of the sofa) trying to clear some tension from the room, which they were both failing miserable at because with each passing second the air got heavier around them and the uneasiness of their body language noticeable from space.

Cuddy was the first to break the silence.

"House, I..." - She looked down, slightly embarrassed, House noted - "...have you spoken to Mr. Dubois yet?" Somehow he knew that wasn't the subject she'd first intended to bring up but he was in no position to shed light into the matter.

"Yup, I scheduled us a meeting two weeks from today. I figured that's enough time for my get to get our stuff ready."

"I can't believe we're doing this..." - Cuddy said apprehensively. House failed to come up with a decent come back, he didn't even rolled his eyes which only preoccupied her further.

After a few moments, when that dense cloud of uneasiness and tension started hovering over their heads again, he finally spoke,

"We'll be fine. The trouble with people who are 'politically incorrect' is that they are usually also many other kinds of incorrect..."

* * *

I probably won't be able to post this Friday but that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore.

Leave some of your suggestions to feed my muse.

~ When you review, your body releases an hormone that makes you look cooler than everybody else. True story, ask a scientist.


	6. Hello, Sweetie

Heya cuties! You have all been so supportive of me, with all your fabulous reviews and comments, even when you criticize something it helps me with my story, I really appreciate them *throws glitter and puppies on your faces*

This is sort of a filler chapter but kind of necessary to tie some loose ends. I draw the line at two suckie chapters in a row so bear with me, mmkay? and plus it's time for Arnold to create some havoc, don't ya think :P

Enjoy!

* * *

Sleeping arrangements:

Upon deciding they would use Cuddy's home as central stage for their little play, the problem of sleeping arrangements got the lead role. It was too awkward for them to share the same roof not to mention the same bed. But House had to sleep, obviously, so they decided he'd set up camp in the guest room, it was smaller than the others but it was the only option Cuddy found to be the farthest away from her underwear drawer. Yeah, she didn't trust House around her panties, thank you very much.

They said their goodnights and parted ways to each other's respective beds. Cuddy breaded a sigh of relief when her head hit the pillow, surrounded by comfortable sheets, and the warmth they were proving, transmitted her a sense of security she'd long for ever since she let House into her home. She was not physically afraid of him, quite the contrary, but mentally. He could mess with her head like no one else could, toying with her emotions and manipulating her guilt with absolutely zero difficulty.

At around 3am she was woken up by the sound of someone walking up and down the corridor and, after the initial blankness of her post slumber state that precluded her from remembering her current living situation, Cuddy realized that House was probably awake and, most likely, doing something he shouldn't be doing.

She found him, clenching his thigh in pain, mumbling a train of angry and incoherent words, making her regret immediately her initial assumptions about him, sometimes she forgot how human House actually was.

Tentatively, in hopes not to startle him, she made her way towards him, daring to speak only when she was assured he was completely aware of her presence.

"Are you okay, House?" - Cuddy spoke in a very tender and soothing voice - "Is it your leg?"

She'd expected him to lash out on her, to scream for her to go away and leave him in solitude, but he didn't. House simply nodded his head, stopping next to the door frame of his new bedroom, grabbing it for support.

Out of breath, he said - "The orthopaedic mattress in the bed is too hard for my leg..."

Cuddy felt her guilt rise within her body at full force, not only because of the mattress but because she was the one that made him be in so much pain and how she seldom forgot about the amount of strength it took him to get through the day or how some of his spiteful and snarky remarks were guilt ridden outbursts.

"I tried sleeping on the couch but that thing is not nearly as comfortable as it seems..."

He wasn't looking at her. He couldn't bear the look of pity and guilt in her eyes, he felt so inferior and emasculated to be standing in front of her looking so vulnerable. But the pain was exhausting, he needed something for it to stop, he needed sleep.

Cuddy bit her bottom lip - "House..." - he still refused to look at her, she came closer - "House, you can stay in my bed. I'll sleep on the couch."

He shook his head - "No." - he said firmly.

"But..." Cuddy tried to persuade him but was quickly cut off.

"You know as damn well as I do that you wouldn't be able to sleep on that mattress either, you probably bought it for your mother for when she came to visit. You can't sleep on the couch because of your scoliosis, your back would be screaming bloody murder in the morning. You'd be miserable and sleep deprived which would make you bitchy and unbearable, in consequence, making me miserable and unbearable..."

Cuddy's mouth was agape, she knew he was right and it still stroke her a bit unexpectedly that he knew about her back problems. She had a slight bending of her spine due to ballet dancing that sometimes still gave her a bit of trouble.

"I'll be fine, Cuddy, go to bed."

"House, we're two grown ups, we can sleep - emphasis on sleep - in the same bed without making a big deal out of it..."

And with that, those established boundaries Cuddy was so keen on keeping were thrown out the window and smashed on the pavement.

* * *

Eating habits:

House was in no way an health freak, he ate whatever he felt like eating or whatever Wilson cooked and/or bought. He lived by his mottos: was it green? Did it smell funny? Were there any visible living organisms he should be concerned about? No? Bottoms up!

But Cuddy, she liked to eat well. She wasn't an heath freak either but she took care of herself (and had the smokin' hot bod to prove it).

They had complete opposite eating habits but House couldn't be bothered to cook, or wash any dishes for that matter, so he was forced to ingest whatever Cuddy prepared.

To this day, he still cringes at the memory of that god forsaken time he'd first tasted tofu. Yikes!

Tv Domination:

Monster Trunks. Why? Why would someone, in their right place of mind, create something so unbelievable stupid? Cuddy couldn't understand the fascination House had over it. He would vegetate in front of the tv, for hours, watching big trucks running over little trucks, and, when he was not watching men with little penises drive obnoxious vehicles, he would settle for hysteric middle aged women fighting over botox and pot roasts. Maybe calling him a 'genius' was a slight overstatement.

Cuddy had a little guilty pleasure, a secret if you will, a minor obsession with television shows and House's persistence on watching a demeaning amount of crap programmes made her miss all the new episodes of her favourite series. She would often try to fight for the absolute control of the television remote but he was twice as big as her and her reluctance to touch him only decreased her chances at succeeding.

Ugh, men ruin everything.

* * *

Common grounds:

It was way past midnight when House was startled out of his beauty sleep. Grunting, he scratched his eyes in hopes to keep them open, his brain slowly processing the information provided by his sharp senses. There was noise coming from the living room and Cuddy was no where in sight. Getting up, mindful of his leg, he went in search of an explanation for what seemed to be a very perturbed robot screaming in a very idiotic accent echoing through the corridor.

He found her, much to his devious amusement, snuggled up on the couch, tea mug in hand and blanket over her shoulders, watching, very attentively, what seemed to be an episode of one of those tv series she though he didn't know she loved so much.

Naturally, instead of going back to bed and leaving her in peace, he cleared his throat rather loudly.

Cuddy almost fell on her ass. Embarrassed and just downright furious, she was more than ready to kill him.

"House!" - she shouted, still out of breath - "You scared me, you jackass!"

That annoying and trade marked smirk on his face only infuriated her further.

"Never thought you'd be into si-fy, Dr. Cuddy" He heckled.

"Ugh, shut up"- she glared at him - "Mock all you want, House, but do me a favor and wait till I finish watching my episode." - Making sure he couldn't see how red her cheeks were, she turned her attention back to the television screen.

He chuckled, lowering himself on the spot next to her, draping the blanket over his legs "Now, now, Cuddy, no need to get hasty. This is a good episode, no need to be ashamed."

"You watch Dr. Who?" She asked befuddled.

"Occasionally... His Scottish accent is absolutely dreamy!" - she was still looking at him questionably - "... and I may or may not have the full DVD collection."

Woah, they had actually found something they both agreed on. After a few seconds of silence Cuddy spoke,

"Donna an the Doctor are about to find Rose, I'll kill you you you make me miss this." She smiled sheepishly and they turned their attention back to the screen.

They watched tv for hours, commenting, most on House's part, all the Doctor and his companion's shenanigans and, for the first time since their wedding day, they felt comfortable around each other again.

* * *

Soooooo... yay or nay?

ps: still looking for a beta reader.

~ 9 out of 10 doctors recommend reviewing at least once a day.


	7. Feeling Stuff Blows

Thank you all so much for your reviews! I appreciate every single one of them c: A special shout out to 'JM', I was having a shit day from hell when your review popped out of nowhere and it seriously made it much better - I 'awed' for like 10 seconds :P ( Inês stop being a sap and move on with the story pls).

Oh and btw, I tend to write in British English so if a word has an extra 'u', you'll know why!

Enjoy!

* * *

It was not unusual for House to torture his team when he was in a bad mood, well, not torture, more like acting upon himself to make sure his subordinates had the desire to terminate their contract with life (and possibly, if he wished really, really hard, for them to cry like little girls). Yeah, that's normal Housian behaviour to you. Then there were times the ducklings would strike some luck and he would just be mildly upset with the world, not making them want to stick his cane up his ass for a good third of a week. Completely predictable Housian work environment, textbook. But, this time, House had been in a good mood... For longer than 2 minutes at a time. Gasp. The team was in awe of their boss' behaviour, not only had he been in a strikingly good mood the past few days, but just the night before he'd paid Taub a compliment. TAUB. Yes, the same teeny tiny Taub that had the misfortune of being House's favourite target out of all the mockery subjects he had at his display. Of course the compliment had been delivered hidden under a pile of witty comments and sarcastic remarks, but still, the situation was terrifying.

"Can't we just enjoy his mood and hope for it to last?" Foreman had earned a few eye rolls from his colleagues, leave it to him to poop all over everybody's parades. No, they would not leave the situation alone, House in a good mood should not be allowed to go outside, God - or whomever is up there playing a very realistic sims game - knew in how much trouble he could be getting into.

* * *

House was limping down the hall when he bumped into Wilson who was sporting a rather irking smirk on his perfectly shaved face.

"Hey, House! How's the mrs.?" He asked, pretty pleased with himself.

"Oh vey, Jimbo, do you mind saying that louder? I don't think the folks down in the morgue heard you." He snarked back.

"Sorry... I can't help myself" - he smiled sheepishly - "I'm just having a lot of fun torturing you for once, sucks when it's the other way around, doesn't it?"

House rolled his eyes as they made their way to Wilson's office, it was nearing lunch time so, obviously, it was time for him to accomplish his purpose on earth and pay for their meals.

"Here's the thing, if any one finds out about this I'll know it was you who blabbed so, if you don't want anything bad to happen to you or, shall we say, your most prised possessions, I suggest you keep your trap shut."

Wilson raised his hands in surrender "Alright, House, I won't say a thing. Besides, Cuddy would have my head and she's scarier than you."

"Glad we're both on the same page. Let's go buy me lunch now."

Wilson knew House's empty threats were just a figment of his nervousness about his meeting with Arnold that afternoon. It was the ultimate test, if they pulled it off, he would be handed the money and all this sham marriage thing could end. And House would have to face the reality of his feelings towards Cuddy, and everybody knows how clueless he was when it came to feelings, watching House deal with his emotions was like watching a whale knit.

* * *

Pacing wasn't good. Pacing was _definitely _not good. House watched as Cuddy nervously made her way from an end of her office to another at an impressive speed for a woman in 5 inch Manolo's, the only time the fearless dean of medicine paced was when she was truly frightened and unsure about something, which meant she was freaking out about the little stunt they were about to pull.

He sighed, the weeks they've been living together weren't as horrible as he'd originally thought they'd be. They'd actually managed each other's constant presence without screwing up their volatile relationship even further, which terrified him beyond belief. Having Lisa Cuddy near him awakened sentiments he'd long forgot how to deal with, feelings he'd once had for that corky, little undergrad that gave him hell for being a prick and was constantly stepping up to his game without flapping her lashes.

Pushing dangerous thoughts to the back of his brain, he made his way to her office.

It was time to meet Arnold.

* * *

I'M SORRY. I know it's mean to leave you hanging like this, especially after such a short chapter but I wanted to get this up before Saturday because I'm not sure when I'll be able to finish writing the meeting chapter and I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing *puppy dog eyes*

Don't pretend you don't love me anymore cause we all know that's a lieeee.

~ The doctor says I have a very rare disease (let's call it needinessophynea) that can only be cured with 100mg of reviews per day. I have a receipt... swear!


	8. The Cringe Factor

Love me. No seriously, LOVE MEH. I should be reading a rather, how do I put it, gigantic, massive, ginormous literature book for school but I'm writing this instead. You were all so nice and cute on your reviews (I'm gonna try to answer all of you from now on) that I couldn't help it. _I love you, I wish I didn't... but I can't help it _aahahahaAH noPE.

Anyway... yes, I bring thee a shiny new chappie right off the oven - and you've been asking (more like demanding) for longer chapters so I'm trying to make that happen too, some of you got slightly hasty (COUGH _SissiCuddles_ COUGH).

**Enjoy!**

* * *

House was sitting on the couch while Cuddy scrubbed away any molecule of dust daring to show itself in light of day. Cleaning soothed her, ever since she was a teenager, she was sure there was some deep physiological meaning behind the reason why spotless surfaces gave her an unusual sense of accomplishment, but she didn't have the time or patience to go into a wild goose hunt through her subconscious.

The dreaded day had come, much to both House and Cuddy's dismay. Arnold was due to arrive at any time.

After minutes of uncomfortable tension the doorbell finally rang, making Cuddy emerge from the kitchen with a nervous expression on her face.

House rolled his eyes "You could at least pretend to be a little less miserable, it helps with the whole 'we've been married and in love for years' thing. You'd make a terrible actress, Cuddles."

She huffed some hair out of her lungs, trying not to succumb to House's brattiness. Cuddy put her A game smile on and swiftly made her way to the front door, smoothing down the imaginary wrinkles on her perfectly ironed skirt.

It was show time.

"Oh, Mr. Dubois, we've been expecting you" - she was being as delightful as she'd so often seen her mother be, poised and assertive with unscathed appearance and flawless hair, masking the deterioration of her true emotions, holding her head high in perfect composure, looking like a true white picket fenced house wife, pardon the pun. - "Please come in, make yourself comfortable, my... husband is in the living room."

"You have a lovely home, Mrs. House, I can see you like lilies" Arnold Dubois was your typical elder advocate, he wore a bright red bow tie and a blue shirt, attired with a peculiar tweed blazer jacket, completing his look with a genuinely friendly and welcoming smile on his face.

"Umh... it's Dr. Cuddy, not Mrs. House, I kept my maiden name, it's easier when we're at work." She smiled weakly.

"Oh, of course, Dr. Cuddy, I shouldn't be jumping conclusions. I apologise, I hope you don't take this as a misogynistic move on my behave. My wife is always saying I need to tweak my first impressions." - Arnold chuckled, any other person would have brushed it off has a plausible mistake, considering the present situation, but he didn't, he was that good of a person. It made it a lot harder to lie so bluntly to his face.

"No, of course not, it's an understandable confusion. And please call me Lisa." This time her smile was genuine too, guilt ridden, but true.

From his observation of Cuddy and Dubois' conversation, House could easily deduce how much of a gullible idiot the older man was, it wouldn't take them that much effort to con him into believing he and Cuddy were speaking the truth.

"Ah, Dr. House!" - Arnold extended his hand to House - "So glad we finally had the time to meet, you're a busy man."

_'Busy forging documents and pestering my entire existence' _Cuddy internally snorted, if he only knew what went behind closed doors.

"Yes, well, doctor's life, what can you do?" House's feign friendliness was really irritating and Cuddy had to suppress her rising urge to roll her eyes.

* * *

Halfway through their meeting, roughly half an hour later, House was ready to shoot himself in the head, acting nice for longer than thirty seconds at a time put a lot of strain on him.

Cuddy was seated next to him on the couch, in very close proximity, instead of the usual safety area between the two of them, their legs were touching, Cuddy's silky skin against House's rough jeans, both of them trying desperately not to pay much attention to their current situation.

"Lisa, I understand you are not a catholic."

Cuddy immediately tensed up - "Umh, yes. But House isn't." - she answered mechanically.

Arnold chuckled at the woman's nervousness, there was something about her that intrigued him. She was a beautiful woman, yes, but that was not what got his attention. He was immediately drawn to her eyes, her eyes didn't show the same kindness and the sort of innocence her face let through. Her eyes were masked with an indescribable aura, a somewhat dark cloud enveloping her sweet baby blues.

"I know that, Lisa. It's not a problem don't worry, I was just wondering how you manage to make it work, I'm talking about holidays and religious festivities, some couples have trouble juggling all that, especially when there are children involved."

That stroke them for a bit of a surprise, they were so busy planning how to react around each other they forgot about all the other things one has to worry about when sharing their lives with someone they love.

"Well..." Cuddy started only to be cut off by House.

"We manage" - He blurted out simply - "We try to balance each other's believes, it's not that big of an issue. And we don't have children... we do have a pet though, he's an oncologist."

This hail-fellow-well-met act was really starting to irritate House, his snarky side was starting to show, but thankfully, Arnold was a good sport and didn't pay much attention to his jabs.

After glaring at House for his rather unsuitable comment, Cuddy decided it was time this meeting came to an end, and with it, that whole maddening stunt.

"Anyway..." - she turned her face to the elder man - "do you have everything you need? I'm sorry to be rushing but I really must get back to work soon."

"I have everything I need, doctors" - a common sigh of relieve escaped their mouths - "I just need to schedule a few interviews with some of your friends and family, hope that won't be much of an hassle to you both."

Do you know how in films, when the main characters get into a bit of a pickle and that very mysterious, yet cheeky, music plays in the background? Well, if they were in a Hollywood blockbuster that would be the time for it to happen. House and Cuddy were both frozen to their spots, not really knowing what to do, or say, next.

House was the first to speak up, at this point on his life lying came natural to him.

"We try to keep our professional and personal relationships separated, and, as I'm sure you'll understand, we would like to keep it that way... it would create a certain havoc if some people knew the Dean of Medicine was married to her troublesome, yet ravishingly handsome, Head of Diagnosis." Out of sheer force of will, he managed to muster a charming smile, as fake as it was, it was a smile nonetheless, that surprisingly seemed to be working rather well as a manipulation mechanism.

"Oh, certainly, Dr. House... but you have everything cleared out with your H.R., correct?"

"Yes." Both said assertively.

"Wonderful!" - Arnold's cheery tone was starting to come off as a bit of annoying for Cuddy also - "You just make sure you give me a list of the names of the people I can speak with."

_J.E.W. - wonder boy oncologist - to the rescue!_

He finally got up to leave, praise Jebus and Santa Claus, Arnold Dubois was leaving the premises, making both Mr. and Mrs. House very happy.

Right about when Cuddy was leading him to the door, internally counting the amounts of steps leading to her porch, Arnold chimed in.

"Oh, silly me, I almost forgot..."

House let out an annoying grunt, this guy was clearly not the sharpest knife in the bunch but he as sure as hell was a ginormous pain in the ass.

"... I'll also need to get in contact with your family, Dr. Cuddy. Bureaucratises, only. Please be sure to leave me your mother's contact. I've already spoken to Dr. House's mother..."

_I've already spoken to Dr. House's mother._

_I'VE ALREADY SPOKEN TO DR. HOUSE'S MOTHER.__  
_

_**I'VE ALREADY SPOKEN TO DR. HOUSE'S MOTHER.**_

That sentence swirled inside House's mind at 100 km per hour _( A/N: 62 miles aprox.- you're welcome Americans :P_) it hit him like a brick square in the face.

Cuddy's mouth hang open in mere shock and disbelieve.

They were both a sight to see. Quite hilarious to an outsider, for them... not so much. Wilson would be in hysterics by now.

"You... You've spoken to my mother?" House asked tentatively.

"Oh, yes, Blythe is such a nice lady. Well, I'll be off. We'll schedule the hospital meetings tomorrow, have a wonderful evening, doctors."

And with that Arnold left.

House and Cuddy were still standing on the same spots, motionless and in evident pain, or at least House would be once Cuddy got her hands on him...

* * *

"You never told me anything about getting your mother, or mine for that matter, involved, House!" Cuddy was raging, she was mad, furious and House had no way of dodging the bullet.

"You think I knew about this, Cuddy? I'm not that stupid!" He was quite upset too.

She swallowed dryly before pursing her lips, she knew House had a point but somehow she couldn't bring herself to believe him, she was too afraid to be played by him that her defense mechanisms were clouding her judgment. The whole thing was insanely frustrating.

"Ugh, I should have never let myself into this."

The room went silent. Neither one of them spoke, the stakes were high and they both understood each other well enough to know that all it took for one of them to snap was one simple wrong word or misplaced action.

"Why?" House broke the silence, but somehow increasing the level of awkwardness and tension in the air.

"Why what?" She knew what.

He took a step forward, almost too close, his tall gangling figure hovering over her.

"Why did you do you it?" He asked brusquely.

She looked down, unable to have his gaze on her without breaking down her hypothetical walls. Gaining some strength, or perhaps pretending to have gained it, after a few seconds, she finally faced him.

"It was my duty as a Dean of Medicine to want what was best for my hospital..."

"That's horse shit, Cuddy and you know it!" House was pushing her, dangerously so.

"It's my obliga-"

"Obligation is overrated. People choose what they want to do, if they want to do or not do something. This isn't about obligation or principals, this is about choosing. You had a choice. People don't do things they don't want to without fighting back, kids fight their teachers over homework, people fight their bosses for better coffee machines or work conditions but you... You didn't fight me. You could have ended this a long time ago, you could have chosen to rat me out from the very beginning and you didn't. Why?"

She desperately wanted to run away, to leave him and this sham marriage behind but she knew she had to face him. She was in too deep now, with no way of escaping.

"Why, Cuddy?" This time, his voice sounded calmer.

"I..." - she began, her eye colour was slightly different, he noted - "I don't know..."

They were starring at each other, personal space long forgotten. Their mouths were barely touching but they weren't that far apart either. The tension was palpable. He wanted so ardently to hold her in his arms and kiss her, the thirst to feel her lips against his, to possess her and care for the woman in front of him was overwhelming but not unwelcome.

She licked her lips unconsciously and he took it has an invitation. He bowed his head down, as she rose on her tippy toes to meat him half way, their lips so close and eager to be touched it was surreal.

But suddenly the spell broke, his phone started to ring in his pocket and they both parted ways.

* * *

Okay, so, I'm in need of some serious feedback after this one. Reviews are very much appreciated.

~Scientists in Timbuktu discovered a cure for un-awesomeness... yup, you got it... it's leaving a review.

ps: 2,000 words? who's a good girl? *points to self*


	9. Polar Opposites

shallom, cuddle-kins! c: I know I've been a slack for not updating sooner but my grammar decided to take a vacation to Cabo and left me behind with phrases like "and then he rose up because he felt off the ground" (this is actually something I wrote, I can't even). Sowwy?

Anyways I want to thank all of you for leaving such wonderful reviews encouraging me to keep writing, and someone even left me an ask on Tumblr asking if I was giving up on this story - nope, I don't plan on it, rest assured. This is the first time I'm having fun writing something! I have so many storyline ideas crumbled up inside my brain it's insane!

You are all scrumptious human beings! :)

PS: rating changed cause I say a few naughty words on this chapter, oops.

* * *

Never in his life had he cursed an inanimate object so much. He was completely and utterly annoyed with himself. That moment with Cuddy had messed with his mind, it had shaken things up, leaving him to wonder what could of have happened if the damned phone hadn't rung. House didn't do feelings, they were sticky and uncomfortable and desperately unpredictable, and the fact that he was well aware of what their almost blunder did to him only made things worse. Whomever was on the other side of the line was about to be greeted by a very cranky House, a very cranky and frustrated House.

"What!" He snapped at the phone, not even bothering to check the caller I'd - which was probably the worst idea he could have had in his shredded figment of existence, yes, even worse than fake marriages...

"Gregory, that is no manner to speak with your mother."

_Well, fuck_.

House immediately sat up straight - _shit_ - he knew the reason why his mother was calling and after that little stunt with Cuddy he was most definitely not in the mood to have that conversation, not only because of his impending bottled up frustration, just eagerly waiting to be thrown upon someone, but also because he hadn't the faintest idea what to tell her. Seriously, how on earth do you explain to the woman who gave birth to you that you're basically a lying prick? That's right... You don't!

"Hey ma..."

He heard her sigh, he could only imagine what was yet to come.

"Don't you 'hey ma' me, mister!" - there it was -" You know damn well why I'm calling..." Yup, Blythe was taking no shit from him.

House knew he had no way out of that tricky situation, his mum wanted answers and she wasn't going to rest until he **properly** provided them. Middle school flashback, oh god.

"Listen, I'm sorry-"

"No, you listen!" - she cut him off - "I can't believe you, really, Gregory, of all things you've done, this is, by far the worst! I can't believe you did such thing."

Oh no. No, no, no, no! Could his mother know about his sham marriage? Could she have figured it all out after Arnold talked to her? Lord have mercy on his condemned soul...

He chose to remain silent, hey, it was his right to plead the fifth - 'I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me' - but in his case it was more of a 'I refuse to answer on the grounds that I would really prefer to remain alive and not get beaten to death' type of situation, but either way, it was the fifth nonetheless... Give it or take.

"You have no idea how foolish I felt when that lawyer called me, how embarrassing it was for me to find out about things like that!"

Okay, he was most definitely fried. His mum was usually a very sweet and understanding woman (some might wonder if they had any sort of biological connection) but apparently she too had a limit for his bullcrap.

House got a little sidetracked from the conversation, missing some parts of Blythe's rant, which could be really bad news for him if she started asking questions. He had to explain why he chose to lie to the government (Arnold was hardly the government, but his mother would surely take him for someone important) and risk his career over a couple of dollars at some point, but oh, how he longed to prolong that moment.

"... And you can come pick me up after lunch."

Hold on, what? He sure as hell hoped he was hallucinating, showing early signs of dementia and/or just going crazy from all the years he'd spent surrounded by morons, he must have heard wrong.

"I'm sorry, mum.. Could you repeat that last part?"

Blythe's speech was cut off by a slight moment, a slight and very appreciated moment, if you ask House.

"I said I'm going to visit you. I'll arrive next week... Weren't you listening?" - she sighed, although letting a smile escape her lips - "Oh, Greg... What am I going to do with you? You better hope that woman of yours is willing to put up with you." - another chuckle - "I'll see you then, son, I love you."

_Well, fuck_.

He stood there, in the middle of Cuddy's living room, baffled to insanity.

* * *

Contrary to popular believe, Wilson had not osmosed House's ability to lie and manipulate the others around him. He sucked at lying, his hands would start to sweat and his eyebrows would engaged in a very awkward movement dance, similar to two caterpillars on mating season. Lying didn't come natural to him, he never got away with it in school, much to his dismay. So, yeah, he wasn't particularly thrilled about his meeting with Mr. Dubois.

He had two choices, one: suck it up like a big boy and lie through his teeth, two: tell both House and Cuddy to get someone else to do it because he didn't want to get involved... But then again... He wanted to. When it came to his two best friends, getting them to admit their mutual feelings for each other was something he felt was one of his purposes in life. They were so goddamn perfect for each other it physically hurt watching them going around in circles, year after year. And now they were married, presumably only temporarily but who were those two idiots trying to kid? They were stuck with each other and he sure as hell wanted to see them realising it.

Sigh, oh well, it seemed like he was going to have to do it. Curse his inner gossip self for always getting him into trouble, oh, and House. Curse House for being such a pussy when it came to Cuddy.

His inner monologue was interrupted by a knock on his office door. Show time.

"Ah, Dr. Wilson, I hope I'm not interrupting anything? I can come back later if some other time would suit you better."

'How about never'? The little devil on Wilson's conscience blurted out. (oddly enough it sounded a lot like House).

"You're not interrupting anything, I was just going through some paperwork" - boy wonder powers activated - "Please, sit, would you like me to get you anything?" - boy wonder used charm, it's super effective!

Arnold smiled politely "No, thank you, doctor. I'll be brief, I just have a couple things to ask you about your friends, Drs. House and Cuddy. Standard procedure."

Wilson nodded.

"From what I've learnt you are Dr. House's best friend, am I right?"

_'Regrettably so...'_

"Yes." Okay, he was not being much of help he was really scared of screwing this up, mostly because House would never let him hear the end of it and make it his life goal to make his life a living hell - gulp.

Arnorld nodded, taken aback by the oncologist's insecurity "Okay... Were you an attending at their wedding ceremony?"

Aaaaand, action! C'mon, Jimmy, just like we practised - demon, or rather, House voice pipped up.

"Umh, yes. It wasn't exactly a ceremony.. It was more of a small gathering. Just a few family and friends. We all went down to the court house, they signed the papers and that was it." - sensing how suspicious Arnold , he felt the need to add a little joke - "House is not very big into social interactions" Nailed it - self five.

"I see... How is their marriage affecting their work relationship?"

"Oh, their relationship hasn't changed at all. If it's favoritism your looking for it most certainly there's none. Cuddy is a great administrator, she never lets her personal life interfere with her work." - technically that wasn't a lie, he reasured himself - "and House... Well, he's his usual self, same as always. He respects her a lot, both as a doctor and as an employer." - also true.

Wilson's generic answers were not pleasing Arnold. That he already knew, from talking to both House and Cuddy and House's mother. He was looking to know more about the couple's life through friendly bystander, not a computated robot.

He took off his rounded glasses and set them on Wilson's desk, resting his elbows on its wooden surface, smiling to reassure the confused looking doctor as he leaned in almost like he had a secret to confide in him.

"Dr. Wilson, those are not the answers I was hoping to get.."

Oh, no. What had he done wrong? _Keep the act up, Jimmy_, he told himself.

".. I want to know this couple, I need to know how deeply they love each other and I want to hear it from the people around them. Gertrude clearly stated that she wanted her nephew to have the money if he had someone worthy by his side, and to be fair, something seemed a little off when I had my meeting with them. He looked at her with such longing in his eyes, and tell me, doctor, how can you long for something you already have? And Dr. Cuddy seemed to flinch every time their legs touched, almost like her skin burnt with each touch..." - Wilson had the most dumbfounded expression ever, one that would serve for months of mockery material if said mockee were to be there - "Tell me about your friends, that's the kind of story I want to hear from you." Arnold concluded.

Upon shrugging off any remains of the deep state of shock the elder layer had left him in, Wilson decided it was time to tell the truth.

"To be honest, I never thought they'd have a snowball's chance in hell at making their relationship work. They have never gotten along, ever since med school House and Cuddy have always clashed, they'd bicker and fight with each other with such passion the world around them would cease to would be on bad terms for a few days, avoiding each other and retreating themselves in their offices, and then suddenly it was almost as though it had never happened. I envy them. Me and my ex wife got along fine up until the day we signed the divorce papers and look where it got me? I want what they have. They are polar opposites that fit together perfectly."

Arnold looked at the young doctor sympathetically. He rose from his seat, putting away the black notepad now filled with notes, and shook Wilson's hand.

"That's all I need to know" - he turned to leave - "Thank you for your time, Dr. Wilson."

Cut! That's a wrap everybody - Wilson flopped down onto his chair, finally freeing the previously incarcerated air in his lungs.

* * *

Cuddy stormed down the hall, with House limping close behind her.

"I can't do this."

He rose his hand to her waist, pulling her towards him, ignoring the pounding alarms in his head.

"I know." - Instead of fighting or trying to persuade her, he understood. That took her aback a little - "If you want to, I'll tell my mother the truth and we won't have to pretend to like with each other around her." He couldn't tell if that was an hint of sarcasm in his voice or something else.

She starred at his eyes, trying to read him, images of a few moments ago pestering her mind, silently pleading him to say what they were both eager to say or maybe for some other unrelatable reason, he couldn't tell. Lisa Cuddy was the person he knew more about, and yet she was still a undecifrable mythical creature.

He dragged his eyes away, not allowing himself to look at her expression ridden eyes, refusing to let the barriers fall. There was no room in his life for poetry or beauty. It was overflowing with harsh reality, this was no fairy tale and even if it were, the monster never gets the girl in the end. She was his boss, living a nightmare of her own, burning with anger at him for another one of his stunts. Yes, that was it.

But then it wasn't...

* * *

I'm so late for my exam preparation class it's not even funny, oh well... watcha gonna do? :P Thoughts?

~My mum says you should leave me a review because I'm special.


	10. Giving In

hullo, cutiepeas! before you read this chapter I would just like to apologise for butchering the english language on my last chapter, I re-read it and cringed at the amount of mistakes I found. Bad me.

I'm afraid updates will be coming slower, I'm approaching the end of my high school years (PANIC), graduation and prom are next week and exams are closely followed. welp.

But fear not, I've written a little treat for you... it was time I took advantage that M rating, don't you think? ~/wink

Enjoy!

* * *

Pigs didn't fly now did they? Of course not. Pigs were genetically programmed to live amongst their filth and prosper happily buried in a revolting amount of crap. House was a flying pig. well, not literally, but figuratively. Flying pigs were unnatural, against nature's laws, and that was precisely how he felt in that moment. Out of place and unsettled. Sitting across from him was his mother, with a thousand watt smile gracing her aged kissed face, and by his right, feeling completely out of place, sat Lisa Cuddy.

They had just arrived from the airport, both determined to tell Blythe about their marriage without breaking her heart too much, but somehow, finding themselves making small talk about the weather and other boring political questions. Of course, Blythe, oblivious to the whole thing, contently sipped on her tea, eager to ask the one and truly important question.

"So, when can I expect grandchildren?" No time to waste, she wasn't getting any younger, and neither was Greg, no need to sugar coat the situation.

House choked on his coffee, feeling the way Cuddy had tensed up next to him. He knew how delicate that topic was when it came to her and how devastated she'd been once her attempts at IVF failed miserably just a couple months prior. Cuddy's desire to become a mother sometimes consumed her whole, it was so deeply buried within her she couldn't find a word to describe it, it made her feel miserable and somehow slightly worthless.

"We... Ahm..." - House was searching for an answer but couldn't find none and his mother's curious eyes on him were certainly not helping - "Mum, there's something I need to tell you..." - he sighed - "... Cuddy and I aren't-"

Calmed and poised as always Cuddy cut him off speech - "We aren't planning on having children" - Blythe's face fell - "Our lives are a little hectic at times and our schedules are not too big on free time, it wouldn't be fair to bring a baby into a life so stressful..." - sensing the woman's discomfort and disappointment, Cuddy, trying to sooth the situation, added calmly - "... But if it were to happen one day, it would be a blessing nonetheless." It wasn't a lie, having a baby would be a blessing... At least for one of them, she just chose to omit that last part, sometimes it was easier to let people linger with the tiniest bit of hope instead of crushing their hearts completely.

House sat there in silence, mulling over Cuddy's words and mentally scolding himself. He was really not amused with the way his chest heaved when the memory of him telling her how much she would suck as a mother stroke him like a 100V lightning bolt, how part of him cringed when she'd implied that being a mother wasn't in her plans and how heartbroken he knew she would be feeling when she casted that smile across the table, easing his mother apparent discomfort and deteriorating her own self preservation.

House finally looked at Cuddy, thanking her silently for not telling his mother (who was probably the only person still having faith he would someday live happily ever after) about the circumstances of their matrimonial enlace. Cuddy nodded at him, averting her eyes almost instantly, not feeling like having him study her like one of his puzzles, trying to rationalize her decision.

She couldn't bear the look of sadness in his eyes when he'd looked at his mother. She knew House, despise everything and then, like one of his epiphanies, it hit her: the only reason he'd give in so easily when she'd stated that his mother was to know about the whole ordeal was not because he was okay with it but because it mattered to him. Leave it to House to react with his negative feedback mechanisms. His mother was one of the few people whose opinion he gave a damn about and she knew how much it pained him having to disappoint her like that.

The rest of their impromptu reunion went by without any major collateral damage. The ate, made small talk, nothing out of the ordinary. Blythe would stay with them at Cuddy's house, meaning, their act would be extended to their living environment too, something they both were secretly okay with.

* * *

Every night they'd go through the same ritual. They'd sit on opposite sides of the bed, back to back, both flipping through phones and going about their nightly routines. Their uneasiness wasn't unusual, after weeks of 'marriage' they'd still feel awkward sleeping next to each other.

House sighed, he knew he had to say something. They hadn't talked about Cuddy's sudden change of heart, not that he was that big on talking but the curiosity was picking at him. Knowing was what he was best at, not knowing was whitewash on water.

She made her way to the bathroom and for some reason he decided it was the right room to have a serious conversation in, the bedroom was too personal, too dangerous, and the bathroom just seemed like a save, neutral place. Plus, there was less change any of them could make a run for it, or better yet, a limp for it, without falling flat faced on the floor.

"Cuddy" he spoke sternly in a low voice, not wanting to startle her, or worse, letting his mother hear them talking.

She jumped, grasped her polka dotted tank top, clenching the fabric in her hands, just as she was about to remove it. House inwardly cursed his sense of timing but chose not to verbalize his disappointment.

"Jesus Christ, House!"

He couldn't helps the amused smirk on his face, watching Cuddy squirm warmed his heart every time.

"We need to talk." The lack of snark in his voice surprised her, she starred at him, mouth slightly agape, nodding for him to continue.

"Why?" One simple question, one very difficult answer.

Cuddy feigned ignorance - "Why, what?"

House grunted - "Why did you tell my mother we were married?" - his forwardness caught her off guard, of course, the one subject she'd hope he'd avoid is the one he chooses not to let go.

"Because we are." She stated in a matter of factly.

He took one step closer to her, the tiny bathroom suddenly drained of oxygen. His intense gaze on her, reading her emotions, studying her reaction like only he could.

"Cuddy..." He warned.

She sighed defeated, unable to avert her eyes from his.

"I just..." - she looked down for a second, feeling his body get closer, laws of physics be damned - "... I saw how happy she was and I didn't... She'd be heartbroken."

He nodded, still fixated on her face.

"You didn't have to do it."

"I know. I just..."

"You just what?"

Cuddy could feel his breath on her cheek. His voice, raspy and low, floating in her brain, awakening her senses. He snaked his arm around her waist, placing his hand on the sink for support.

"As much as you try to make people believe, House, I'm not an heartless wrench. I care. About you."

The sincerity in her voice was more than he could handle.

"I..."

His voice trailed off as the arm under her waist slid up her back and pulled her towards him. Lowering his head to hers and brushing his lips over hers.

She shivered.

He smiled and did it again. Pressing more firmly against her, his tongue slid into her mouth and tangled with hers. She moaned as she angled her head against his. Her hands crept up and gripped his shoulders as she arched against his body.

His hands slid down and under her tank top. Her skin prickled with sensation as he stroked his palms up over her ribs. His thumb scraped over the pebble of her nipple and she groaned throatily into his mouth as she arched against him again.

His mouth moved from hers and he kissed a path to her neck and nipped her there in a way that had her jumping as pleasure lanced through her body. She had forgotten. She had forgotten how well he knew her. How he knew her body almost as well as she did and he could wring pleasure out of her as easily as his fingers could dance over the keys of his favoured piano.

"We can't" She whispered, not meaning it in the slightest.

He smirked against her skin. Cuddy whimpered as she slid his body into the cradle of her hips and ground against her through the thin layers of material separating them.

"I…" She tried in vain to get her brain to cooperate with what she was trying to tell him. She finally gasped as he nudged his pelvis against her and sent a fire burst of pleasure rocketing up her spine.

Consequences forgotten, they finally let the fire burn between them.

* * *

I've been getting less and less reviews each chapter :( my muse is sad. But I will not disregard those who do review, thank you people, you put a smile on my face.

Ps: how adorable was Lisa Edelstein on twitter yesterday? gaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd that woman will be the death of me. I'm in lesbins wit her tbqh.


	11. Meeting Halfway

You guys are seriously the cutest of them all :3 I'm sorry I haven't been replying to you but life's been kinda crazy for me lately (prom is like in 4 days and I still don't have my complete outfit IT'S FINE I'M NOT FREAKING OUT)

to: CaptainK8; IHeartHouseCuddy; somebadhat; Abby; JLCH; HuddyGirl; SissiCuddles; loyal reader (your english is just fine, yay for Chile :P); Alex; Lisa Cuddy (bless u, you'll get your action in no time! :b); xx; precioussoulandsweetcheeksiin1; housebound; linda12344; Little Greg; Anonymoose; bere; dmarchl21; AtTheBrownstone & all the Guests, thank you so much for all your thoughtful reviews oh and to the anon leaving me ideas on my Tumblr inbox :)

Oh and dear Ravishingly Superior Human Specimen, MF , besides the hilarious nickname, I really appreciated the corrections you made on my grammar, sometimes I have trouble with the silent h's and whatnot and your review helped me understand this part of the english grammar. Would you consider beta reading for me? (pretty please with sugar on top)

This chapter was a bitch to write, I found Blythe immensely difficult to write OC, dunno why. I hope it still makes sense to you though XD

Onwards!

* * *

_"I…" She tried in vain to get her brain to cooperate with what she was trying to tell him. She finally gasped as he nudged his pelvis against her and sent a fire burst of pleasure rocketing up her spine._

_Consequences forgotten, they finally let the fire burn between them._

House was tugging at her shirt, eager to get it off of her, to slide his hands along her smooth, porcelain skin. Cuddy's mind was racing at the speed of her heart, she wasn't thinking clearly, not when he shoved her on the bed, ever so roughly, involuntary sounds escaping her lips. He was kissing her possessively, his lips seldom leaving her own, only when the need for air trumped their need for each other.

Clothes were discarded on the floor, forgotten and unwanted. Her designer skirt still on her, scrunched up at her waist, there was something about making love to Cuddy in her signature power skirts that drove House mad, suddenly having the fantasy unfold to reality before his eyes.

They were so caught up in the moment, the world around them disappeared. There was no lawyer they had to con, no act, no fake marriages or families, there was just the two of them letting themselves gets lost within temptation.

He kissed her neck, marking his territory by sucking on her sensitive skin. She moaned, feeling like the naive 20 year old again.

He pushed himself against her, frustrated by the way his jeans were preventing him from touching her properly. The way his body was reacting to her own sending him over the hedge.

"House, I can't..." - Cuddy's brain won the battle with her heart and the reality of the situation fell upon her - "...House, stop..." - she pushed him away, not forcefully enough to hurt him, just to shook him out of his reverie.

He looked at her confused, a slight pang of guilt stubbornly tugging his chest. His eyes searched hers for an answer. What he saw was not the regret or guilt he was fully expecting to be reflected on her grey eyes. She was smiling at him which completely threw him for a loop, his inability to read her was eerie, unknown and unwanted for the most part.

Sensing his discomfort and uttermost confusion, Cuddy cupped his face with her hand, brushing her thumb over his scruff.

"I don't want to do this."

House was quick on the draw, ignoring the stab of pain ripping through his heart. He should have known better than to let himself be so transparent in front of her, the walls around him were there for a reason and letting her in was probably the stupidest mistake he could have made. He immediately rose from the bed, instantly missing their once shared proximity.

As he was about to leave her side completely, Cuddy grabbed his wrist, forcing him to meet her eyes - "Wait." - House was still refusing to look at her, settling his gaze on one of her decorative pillows, she sighed and continued solemnly - "I didn't say I never want this to happen, I just don't want it to happen like this..." - she gestured between them - "...your mother is in the next room and this whole situation is confusing. If, after this blows over, we still want it to happen, then we'll talk. I just don't want us to get ahead of ourselves."

He nodded, lowering himself on the spot next to her. House was known to put the cat amongst the pigeons in almost every situation of his life, so he chose to remain silent, reluctant and unsure of what to say.

* * *

That night, Cuddy couldn't seem to get her brain to shut down, her conversation with House just a few hours prior fueling her brain with endless questions and imaginable outcomes. Getting herself to admit she felt something for the man currently turning her life upside down was something she never though to be possible, she'd told herself over and over again that she would never let herself get hurt, choosing her own self protection over the possibility of love.

Giving up on any chances of falling asleep, she silently got up, glancing at House, careful not to wake him, knowing that he too battled against his brain to get some rest, winning, unlike her.

She made her way to the kitchen, walking down the hall in the dark, more than accustomed to her house plan. Maybe some tea would help her insomnia.

Cuddy remembered how her father used to stay up with her whenever she couldn't sleep, he'd put a kettle on the stove and they'd stay up until wee hours in the morning, talking and drinking tea. She loved it, perhaps his British roots rubbed off on her, or perhaps she loved the sense of comfort it provided her.

She sighed, leaning against the sink as she waited for the water to boil. Once again, she'd gotten herself deep into a situation she couldn't control, and once again the solemn reason she did so was House. The confliction she felt whenever it came to him, whether it was personal or not, irritated her beyond believe.

Blythe made her way into the kitchen, mindful not to startle Cuddy - "Lisa..." - the older woman's attempt not to scare the shit out of her failed, Cuddy jumped, her heart racing at the sudden voice coming from the door.

"Blythe!" She exclaimed, putting her right hand on top of her heart, feeling the busy rhythm underneath her palm.

"I'm sorry, dear, I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay" - she knew Blythe didn't scare her intentionally, but Cuddy still had to get used to having someone other than herself wandering about her house so late into the night - "would you like some tea? I just put the kettle on."

Blythe nodded her approval, making her ay across the room, sitting on one of the stools by the counter. The uneasiness in the room was palpable, they'd never been alone with each other, House would always be in their company. Cuddy busied herself with choosing what kind of tea she was in the mood for, taking a far amout of time to do so. She could feel Blythe's eyes one her, or maybe she was just imagining things out of sheer social discomfort.

"Greg's not as strong as he let's on, you know?" The uncomfortable silence was broken by Blythe's raspy voice.

"What?" Cuddy asked confused, turning her attention from the tea bags to the woman across the room.

Blythe smiled soothingly - "I know my son, Lisa, I've been listening to him rant about his disapproval of marriage for years. I'd lost faith along time ago, I knew he would never make that big of a commitment." - Cuddy kept silent, filling two mugs with chamomile tea, settling herself on the opposite end of the counter, facing Blythe - "He wants people to think he's a big impenetrable robot, incapable of feeling any sort of human emotion but deep down he's just afraid of pain. He's been hurt a lot..." - she noticed the slight break on the woman's voice - "... He doesn't trust people. But when he looks at you..." - Blythe smiled - "... I see something in him I hadn't seen in a very long time." - Cuddy's guilt complex was through the roof - "He wouldn't have married you if he didn't think you were worth it."

Cuddy smiled despise everything, she felt the tears threatening to fall but forced herself to keep composure. This situation wasn't fair, the hopeful tone in Blythe's voice cut through her like a knife.

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way, dear. I know when my son's in love and if you married him willingly I can go as far as saying that you love him too." Cuddy's cheeks reddened.

Oh, the irony.

"I'm glad he's found you, even though, I'm still quite upset he hasn't invited me to the ceremony, it's rude to steal a mother's only chance to see her son get married" She added in a playful tone.

What was Cuddy supposed to say? She couldn't tell Blythe the truth, but she could,kt bring herself to lie either.

"Blythe, I... Don't know what to say..." She really, really didn't.

Blythe made her way to her daughter in law, taking with her the red mug she'd been sipping tea from, placing her free hand on Cuddy's shoulder.

"No need to say anything, dear. I'm not trying to intrude, I'm just playing the part of a concerned mother" - she squeezed her shoulder - "Thank you for the tea."

And with that she left the room. Cuddy sat there, her fingers intertwined above the scalding red mug. Sleep was not coming any time soon, not after what had just happened.

* * *

Cuddy's weariness had already pushed her past the breaking point, it was evident in her heavy-lidded eyes, her slightly-slowed movements and the way her every reaction seemed a split-second off. She'd been up all night, trying to make sense of the mess that was her life, her thoughts creating havoc inside her mind.

She'd left the house at the break of dawn that morning, not eager to face neither one of the Houses, deciding to bury herself on a pile of paperwork and clinic patients instead of dealing with the emotions.

She hadn't even told her own mother, something she ought to do if she didn't plan on getting disinherited in any given future, that is. Or maybe she wouldn't. What was the point in telling Arlene about her marriage now? So she could decry and criticize her every decision in life? Lecturing her on how she could be just like her sister if only she tried? No, thank you. And besides, she **was **going to get a divorce in a span of a few weeks.

But she liked House. And he kinda, sorta liked her too. Would he still want to talk, and 'talk' was clearly an euphemism for sex, after they both got what they wanted? Would she?

Argh! Yes, goddammit, she would.

* * *

He let her think he was sleeping, being the master in the art of avoidance, he was more than capable of understanding that Cuddy didn't want to deal with their peculiar situation. Fine, he'd let her get away with it.

Feigning sleep with calculated breaths, he felt her fumbling with the sheets and gnashing her jaw in frustration, making a mental note to praise his self control, Cuddy was not keen on subtleness. At one point during the night, he knew she'd gotten up, most likely to poor herself a mug of grime water.

After that, all went blank, exhaustion trumping curiousness and mischievousness. Even evil geniuses had to rest.

Once he regained control over his conscience, he noted hazily how Cuddy's body was pressed against his, left leg bent and intertwined with his own. His first thought was that he would have to tease her, the self-proclaimed, all-powerful Dean of Medicine clinging so tightly to her lowly diagnostician. Then he noticed where they were positioned, the almost-equal space on either side of the mattress, sheets and blankets in a tangled central mass – he had met her halfway.

* * *

I was almost finished with the chapter when my internet crashed and I lost almost EVERY F-ING THING I had written. I'm livid. I was actually really enjoying what I was writing but, on my second attempt, I just hated everything. GAH. The last 500+ words are re-written. I apologize if this chapter sucks, but it's late and having to re do everything messed up my brain.

F-R-U-S-T-A-T-I-O-N

~but anyway, let me know what you think. Feedback is vicodin for my muse. And I'm sorry, once again.

PS: leave me your suggestions, ideas etc. pls... I'm running out of plot bunnies!


	12. The Gift

I'm baaaaack. Miss me? It took me a little longer to write this chapter but these past couple of weeks have been cray cray - Master has given Inês her high school diploma, Inês is a free girl! - well, not really free, per say, kinda... I still have to my exams, meaning updates will be slow for the next 3 weeks or so.

Thank you all for your marvelous comments, gold starts to all of you! :D

Oh, and I finally got a beta! weeeee, no more butchering the English language. Enjoy!

* * *

House was in no mood whatsoever to deal with virus infested idiots, but he knew for a fact that if he didn't deal with said idiots, a certain highly irritable Dean of Medicine with a sass problem would come after him and kick his ass all the way to the nearest clinic room, yelling the life out of him in the process.

He had two options: one, he could man up and face Cuddy's wrath, increasing the already unbearable sexual tension between the two of them, which could either lead to the possibility of yet another make out session against her office wall or his imminent murder. Option number two, he would go to clinic and do his duty as it was due, trying not to snag his eye out of its socket every time somebody told him they thought they had diabetes because they got stung by a crochet needle, which unfortunately had happened to him one time too many.

Buggers and crabs trumped murder and maturity.

After several hours of impending doom, okay, like 45 minutes, he had reached his limit of stupidity for the day. Making his way through the nurses' station, he turned to the considerable amount of patients currently waiting for their turn.

"Okay, people, as of today I'm officially off sneeze duty. You want your mucus blessed, bring it to a priest."

Some people were shocked, namely the mothers of the children currently smearing snot all over the clinic's chairs, others were amused, like the two teenagers sitting quietly in the most hidden corner of that forsaken place, probably trying to get away with the fact one of them - the dumbest of them, he guessed, for some reason - had a 20 INCH nail perforating his hand, and the rest just shrugged it off as it being yet another of Dr. House's attempt to piss everybody off in order to feel fulfilled in his life.

Nurse Regina, not even bothering to look at House, spoke in the usual irritated and unamused tone of voice every nurse in that hospital seemed to use only when necessary to speak to him.

"Nice try. But you still have hours left to complete and," - she said dryly - "there's someone in room 104 who specifically asked for you. God knows why..." - she mumbled.

"Ooh, goody! I feel like a rock star, hand me the file... Bet I can get this one out in less than 3 minutes" He winked.

"Ah! You're on. I'll get Dr. Cuddy on speed dial"

House glared at her but not without letting a smirk pass his lips. He didn't like nurses, but for some reason he took a liking to Regina, like an annoying pet or neighbour that eventually grows on you but that you'd still be pleased if you succeed in avoiding any sort of contact or social interaction with.

What House did not expect to see was his mother, impeccably dressed, sitting patiently waiting for him. Umh, what?

Years of experience taught him that whenever his mother was looking for him, he should immediate search his brain for any plausible excuses as to why he did/said whatever he was about to be accused of doing.

'I had to, it was for a good cause', 'it's not my fault, I was provoked', 'he or she deserved it', 'my dog ate it' - wait, scratch that last one, but yes, those were a few of his all-star excuses for getting out of trouble.

"Umh... Mum?"

Blythe turned her attention from the tongue depressors to his son, equally fascinating at that moment.

"Gregory!" - uh oh, she'd called him 'Gregory' not 'Greg', never good news - "at last I see you, you didn't even eat breakfast this morning, it was your favorite."

Oh, yeah, he'd forgotten to mention how 007-ish he'd swiftly made his way out the door without letting his mother notice him, it hadn't involved guns or explosions, per say, but it definitely had taken minutiously calculated plans. Umh, but yeah, back to getting dismembered by his mother...

"Ahm... Sorry?"

"You should be sorry, I had to pay a cab to get me here-"

"Look..." - he interrupted - "I was in a hurry to leave. I was going to take you out to lunch, mum, you didn't have to come all the way to the hospital..." - his inability to lie to his mother was slightly irritating at that point of his life.

"I did" - Blythe replied solemnly - "I have something to give you."

House's confusion reached a new peak when he saw Blythe reach inside her purse and take out a deep blue velveted box. It was small, not much could be in it, but the way his mother held it in her hands he could tell whatever was inside of it had a major sentimental value to her.

Without a word, Blythe handed him the blue box. He opened it, and what he saw completely threw him out of loop. A ring. A silver ring. A silver engagement ring. It was the simplest, yet most mesmerizing ring he'd ever laid his eyes upon, not that he had a habit of looking at those little circles of impending doom.

"It was your grandmother's ring" – seeing that House had his eyes out on stalks, she felt the need to explain her sudden bombing on his personal life – "My mother's ring to be exact. She gave it to me a few weeks before she died, she told me to keep it in the family. Now, I was hoping I would have given it to you before you got married but..." – sigh – "... I've come to accept that you're not very keen on following traditions, or rules, for that matter."- she added with a smirk.

House's stomach turned. Damn it, after years of training his body to demolish the slightest molecule of guilt mercilessly, his platoon of destruction was defenceless against his mother, or more specifically, his Oma's innocent wish to pass on the family legacy to their future generations.

It was just a ring, adorned with the simplest pear shaped rose diamond with a single row of round, brilliant, white diamonds. But it sure as hell could have been a grenade or a cyanide pill, by the way his heart was pounding against his rib cage. For the first time in his life, Gregory House was at a loss for words.

"Well..." – Blythe started gathering her belongings – "... I'll leave it up to you to decide who's worthy of using that ring. If you want to wait before giving it to Lisa, or if you want to give it to her at all, it's entirely your decision to make." – she kissed his cheek before leaving the clinic room. She knew she'd caught him off guard when he didn't even try to avoid her kiss. Eh, he'd get over it and eventually put that ring in its rightful place, but like everything else concerning the smallest emotional driven decision, it would take her son at least a few hours of processing. Serves him right for not telling his own mother when he was in love.

* * *

After roaming his office for hours, to the point where his leg pain was starting to feel more like a second muscle amputation, he finally sat down, reaching for the orange pill bottle resting on top of his desk. He'd placed the velvet blue box on top of a stack of books, right in his line of vision, kind of like a rare vase in a museum, meant to be admired and not touched.

He was standing in the middle of a very intense crossfire, bullets were flying around him and he had no means to protect himself. Oh, vey! Even his metaphors were getting tacky.

The swirling thoughts in his mind were forcing him to face the truth he'd long tried to ignore, and severely clouding his judgment too.

House came to a conclusion, much like he'd said before, countless of time before, you can't always get what you want – but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.

And with the mischievous smirk that so characteristically represented him, he grabbed his coat and keys, making his way out the door with the square box neatly tucked in his pocket. It was time to give it a try.

A few hours later, Cuddy's front door opened, a tall figure limping his way inside her house. It was way past midnight so he knew his mother would have been snoozing for quite a while now. Looking around for any sign of life, he wasn't surprised when the light in Cuddy's – _pardon _– their bedroom was on.

He entered her bedroom with complete disregard of her privacy, casually moving around the room, throwing his jacket on the chair next to the window, getting himself ready for bed. He felt her eyes on him but said nothing, eagerly waiting for her to succumb to her own curiosity and eventually ask what he was sure she was dying to know.

He heard her grunt – "Seriously?" – she asked irritated, he smirked.

"What?"

Cuddy glared at him, pursing her lips as she did so – "Don't play dense with me, House, you know damn well 'what'."

He said nothing, just continued about his nightly routine.

She begrudgingly closed the book she'd been pretending to read, and stared at him, gesturing for him to speak.

"Aw, C'mon, Cuddles, it's not nearly as fun when you give in that easily."

"Don't call me Cuddles."

House sat beside her on the bed, not under the covers, but close enough for her to feel his heated body.

"You know, we really need to start working on some pet names, people might find it funny I don't have a sickeningly sweet name to call my dearest wife." – oh, there goes the smirking again, ugh, did he ever stop? – "I like Cuddles, or better yet, sweetcheeks! No, honeybuns 'cus of your-"

"House!" She stopped his rant, not in the mood to be jerked around.

"Jeez... somebody is on her period." A moment of silence, House had just signed his death sentence.

Cuddy opened her mouth to say something, most likely yell, but, taking all the self restrain she'd exercised through years of Arlene practice, she opted not to say anything, gritting her teeth and turning her back to him.

House sighed in defeat, fine, he would stop being a jerk with her for the next part of their conversation, but it was not his fault if she made it so amusing.

"Okay, okay... You can turn around now." – Nothing, Cuddy remained motionless – "Aw, c'mon, don't be like that..." – _feel the ice, House_ – "Cudeeeeeeeeeeh!" – zero, nada, niente.

She left him no other option, House reached into his pocket and, like his mother, took the velvet box out.

"Here." – he placed it on her side of the bed

Upon seeing the mysterious object placed next to her eyes, Cuddy took it in her hands, feeling the soft fabric of the box caressing her skin.

"What's this?" – she said seemingly less upset, turning to face him once again.

"Open it." He nodded towards it.

She did so.

Her eyes widened at the realization of what House was giving her. Holding it frailly in between her fingers, she examined the silver ring attentively.

He watched her, as a range of emotions flashed in her eyes, he knew she'd be confused and probably unsure as to why he was just randomly giving her jewellery, much like he was when his mother did the same to him a few hours prior.

"It was my Oma's ring – my grandmother's. Mum, gave it to me this morning..."

Her mouth was agape, she stared at him flabbergasted.

He found it quite humorous and kind of cute the way she was staring at him but chose to save the mockery for other occasion, he was supposed to act mature for the next 10 minutes or so.

"... She had it saved in hopes that someday I would give it to her future daughter-in-law, but since I didn't give her that chance... well, because, you know... She just told me to give it to the one I found worthy of it."

Okay, he ought to make some sort of joke soon because he could swear Cuddy was about to pass out.

"Wow, House... I..." She started, looking into his eyes, struggling to find the right words.

He took the ring from her hand, lingering his hand above hers.

"Don't read too much into it. It's not a marriage proposal... I mean, a real one." - Slowly, he took the ring and placed it on the top of her left ring finger, sliding it down midway – "I know you don't want to talk about... us..." – _Jesus, dude, stop stumbling on your words and for god's sake quit the sissy act _– "... but, for the time being, I want you to have it. And I'm not only saying this just because of my mother."

Cuddy's vocal chords were about as useless as float in the desert. She looked down at her hand, mesmerized by the way the ring fit her just perfectly.

"I think..." – She spoke – "I think we can talk now."

* * *

I know it should be his grandmother on his father's side of the family to be German, but for the purpose of this story it isn't.

do you have any idea of what is our dear Housey up to? cause I do :P

~Reviewers get cookies.


	13. Dog Days Are Not Over

I get a lot of reviews begging/threatening me to update this on a more regular basis, but babies please, believe me when I say that as much as I would love to do as you so request, I am swamped with real life bullshitness (if Willy can make up words, I can too). I might be in a slightly, maybe a teensy tiny bit depressed mode so I don't want to bright that to the fic. Exams are sucking the life out of me. Just hold on for a few more weeks, kay?

Thank you for all your lovely reviews.

To make up for the lack of updating I've written some smut-y scenes for you, if you know me at all you're probably aware that writing smut for me is like pulling a tooth so... Enjoy!

* * *

_"Don't read too much into it. It's not a marriage proposal... I mean, a real one." - Slowly, he took the ring and placed it on the top of her left ring finger, sliding it down midway – "I know you don't want to talk about... us..." – Jesus, dude, stop stumbling on your words and for god's sake quit the sissy act – "... but, for the time being, I want you to have it. And I'm not only saying this just because of my mother."_

_Cuddy's vocal chords were about as useless as float in the desert. She looked down at her hand, mesmerized by the way the ring fit her just perfectly._

_"I think..." – She spoke – "I think we can talk now."_

* * *

"Cuddy, I wasn't trying to push you into anything..."

"I know."

He looked at her surprised; she smiled nervously at him, allowing herself to shorten the space between them.

"You're kind of giving me mixed signals here, is talking still an euphemism for sex? I can't never tell wh-"

Her kiss surprised him, her mouth landing askew on his, just catching his lower lip, her arms wrapping around his neck, tugging him down to her. Small and delicate as she was, she dominated him fiercely. The hesitant, feathery pressure of her lips gloriously ascending, needy and suddenly bruising, as his mouth opened to the wet heat of her tongue running lightly along the seam of his lips.

The fervent kiss was broken, House reluctantly separated his lips from hers, - "I'll take that as a yes" - he smirked, cupping her face in his hands, lowering his lips against hers again, their mouths crashing against each other with ardent passion.

The urgent need for each other quickly took over their actions, they were both lost within the craze and tension boiling between them.

House took off her shirt, ever so roughly, eager to roam his hands over her soft curves. He kissed her jaw, her lips tingling with the loss of his own. He kissed her neck and shoulder too, softly this time, like a porcelain doll, he was afraid he'd break her.

She let out a moan. It had been a while since she had a man touch her like that, the sensations sending her brain into overdrive. It wasn't just the sex she missed, she missed the feeling of surrendering herself to someone else, to be so entirely his as she was her own.

He finally reached her breasts, her bra rudely in the way. Taking it off with ease, he proceeded down his path of light kisses, reaching her nipple, much to Cuddy's delight.

Gasps, moans and grunts replaced the once uncomfortable silence in the room, entropy rising at a rapid speed.

House was lying on top of her, having shifted her under him almost instantly.

She unbuttoned his shirt, quite surprised with her own self-control. She wanted to rip it open, to feel his scalding chest caressing her palms, but she knew better than to rush things. Cuddy wanted this shared moment between them to last, having fantasized with it for longer than sanely possible.

His pants flew across the room not long after that, lying haphazardly on the floor, shortly followed by Cuddy's thong.

House threw the covers over them, creating a protective shell between them and the world. The kissing became insufficient to fully fulfil their shared desire, the flaming fire between them unbearably teasing - "Cuddy..." - he spoke in between breaths, he hadn't any intention of continuing his sentence but she understood him just as well. Cuddy nodded her head against his shoulder.

He shifted his waist, placing himself in between her legs. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt him, sliding ever so torturously, inside her.

Slow movements at first, every stroke felt like a dash of electrical jolts, stinging them in all the right places.

Cuddy kept her eyes closed, enjoying the rising, and yet, not completely foreign, sensations their proximity was providing her, in complete darkness. House had his eyes opened, not wanting to pass on the opportunity of seeing her face moulded by pleasure, god knew when he was getting to see something like that again.

* * *

It was past 2 in the morning, and after succumbing to the always increasing attraction between them - more than once, House thought with a smirk - he couldn't get his brain to shut down. All the swirling doubts in his mind keeping him awake. He turned his head to the side, brushing his nose lightly on Cuddy's hair. She was asleep next to him, purring into his shoulder, cuddling to him like a cat.

He had to tell her eventually. She had the right to know what he'd done that afternoon, but at the same time, every instance he looked at that ring on her finger, the nerve to do so faded into thin air. It belonged there, there was no beating around the bush this time.

He decided to wait, take advantage of the time he had left with Cuddy, before she kicked his ass to the curb permanently.

* * *

That was the morning Blythe left, they all ate breakfast that she'd thoroughly prepared and then House drove her to the airport.

House was a little apprehensive to be spending some time alone with Cuddy for the first time after they, well, "talked".

Would things get weird or get better?

He felt anxious in a way he hadn't felt in years which was both strangely interesting and unbelievably frightening. The idea of an actual real, emphasis on real, relationship with Cuddy sounded so unrealistic to him, for one, they were both completely different from each other, they had different tastes, different drives, different ideals... they were different. And secondly, they worked together, not just that, but she was his boss! Of course, he wouldn't do any of the shit she wanted him to, but still his boss nonetheless. How do you date the woman that signs you pay checks? 'Cause to him that sounded a lot like how the oldest profession in the world works... oh, lordy, did it mean he was Cuddy's whore now?

He shook his head, he couldn't go down the road of over-rationalization again. He should relax. So he was married to his boss, allegedly for just a short period of time, the same woman who he might have so icky, butterfly inducing feelings for and who he has known for over 20 years. Yup. Definitely, no need to freak out.

House was currently in his office, throwing his faithful thinky-thinky ball against the wall, when Wilson barged in, not bothering with social conventions when it concerned House.

"Hey, buddy..."

House rose an eyebrow, he knew something was up if Wilson was calling him 'buddy', especially in that irritating tone of voice.

"No."

Now it was Wilson's time to frown in confusion - "I haven't even said anything!" - he argued.

House sat up straight, placing ball-y down on the floor, letting his arms cross on top of the desk, turning his attention to his bestest buddy in the whole world.

"I know you, Jimmy" - he pointed a finger at him - "And I know, for a fact, that you were probably going to ask me something I'd most likely not want to do, so, I saved you the trouble of having to say all those words you've rehearsed in front of the mirror this morning. You're welcome."

Wilson rolled his eyes, mostly because House was right but also because his friend's smart-ass attitude was something he was not in the mood to deal with.

He sighed - "Look, House, I hardly ever ask you any favours and, honestly, we both know you own me one - or one hundred - so would you just shut up for a second and let me speak?"

"Ooh, feisty, what crawled up your ass and died, Jimbo?"

If House said he wasn't enjoying quarrelling up with Wilson he would be lying through his teeth. He found it that pissing his friend off was an excellent way to take his mind off of a certain well-formed ass.

Wilson sighed exasperated, he wasn't having one of his best days and House's snappiness was not helping his case.

"I need you to watch Hector for me."

"Who?"

"Hector. My dog... I mean my ex wife's dog."

House looked at his friend with an overly dramatic look of disgust on his face.

"Hell no!"

"House, pl-"

"Nope."

"Well, too bad!" - Wilson said, slightly louder than normal - "I've already spoken to Cuddy and she said it was fine. There" - he threw a leash at him - "have fun!"

House's mouth was agape - "Whoa, wait, wait, wait!" - he stopped Wilson from leaving the room.

"So, you asked Cuddy for permission to ask my permission to babysit your flea bag?" - House was legit insulted which somehow brightened Wilson's day just a tiny bit.

"Pretty much."

When House was about to retaliate, his team strolled in and Wilson took it as his cue to leave.

"The patient went into cardiac arrest, we put him on steroids but his BP keeps climbing." Kutner, oblivious to House's current multitasking between thinking about Cuddy and thinking about murdering Wilson, handed him the patient file, which he dismissed completely.

"The granolomas we saw were clearly not Sarcoidosis" Taub chimed in.

"We need to test for other inflammatory diseases." Thirteen followed with a suggestion.

"That's impossible, we can't just randomly test him for every disease in existence!" The team kept fighting amongst themselves, everyone trying to find a diagnosis as soon as possible just so they could go home and enjoy their weekend, of course Foreman would be the one to refute every idea thrown into discussion, getting a few sets of eye rolls from his peers.

"Alrighty, then!" - House piped in, no longer amused by the ducklings attempts at doctorin' - "Thirteen's right." - they all turned to him in surprise - "Check the guy for every inflammatory disease you can think of, better yet, each one of you," - he pointed at his team - "think of 5 and bring me back the results on Monday." - they were still starring at him, not knowing if he was being serious or just screwing with them - "Round up the usual suspects. Amyloidosis, Sarcoidosis, hemochromatosis... Heck, go wild, do all the osis. I'm going home." He started packing his backpack.

"What? Do you expect us to work throughout the whole weekend?" - Kutner asked dumbfounded - "We haven't been home in three days!"

"Yes, that is unfortunate, and I am deeply, deeply sorry that you have to stay here. Your well beings are a priority in the whole of my existence. I care about each and every one of you so much that it cancels itself out and it ends up looking like I don't give a damn. But daddy loves you."

And with that, he made his way to the door, leaving the team to stare at him while he left.

"Don't forget your homework!"

* * *

Cuddy had been occupying herself with cleaning her already spotless house ever since she'd gotten back from work. It was useless, really, counting for the fact that Wilson's dog would be staying with them for a few days until he got back from the conference.

Hector was lying on a doggie mat next to her couch, occasionally looking up at her, sticking his fluffy white ears in the air from time to time.

She was nervous, that was no mystery. She was going to spend her first night alone with House after they'd had sex, it was going to be the first time they discussed their newly found situation now that it wasn't just a fake marriage anymore.

Cuddy caught the reflection of the "engagement ring" on her left finger, she had taken it out that morning, not wanting to parade it around the hospital just so unwanted rumours would start flying around but, as she got home and saw the blue box, she'd decided to put it on again. Was she supposed to take it off now that House's mother was no longer staying with them? They definitely needed to talk about this.

House was standing in front of Cuddy's porch, mustering the courage to actually get in. He finally opened the door.´

"Hey, how's your patient?" Cuddy saw him coming in, she was just about to go give Hector his food.

"Good... I mean, the kids are working on some tests."

Both House and Cuddy were standing in the middle of her living room, starring at Hector, who was just lying there, being his usual clueless dumb creature. House kinda envied his congenital development.

They were both uncomfortable, without the heated passion from the previous night to let encourage them to loosen up, or go at it like crazy rabbits, all they had left was the prickly silence floating in the hair.

Cuddy sighed.

"Well, this is awkward." She began.

He nodded.

"We have to get back at Wilson for leaving us with the runt while he's enjoying a week worth of playing hooky."

He knew the awkward she was referring to wasn't the drooling canidae in front of them but the gigantic, florescent yellow elephant in the room.

"I think attending a symposium on prostate cancer in Atlanta is hardly considered playing hooky." Cuddy replied in a matter-o-faclty.

House smiled, he knew Cuddy was well aware that he was just trying to avoid having 'the talk' but it was cool that she was letting him do it at his own speed.

"I'm going to take Hector for a walk..." Cuddy announced after a while.

"Here" - House handed her the leash he's been holding the entire time - "Wilson threw this at me this morning."

Cuddy turned to him with a slight amused confusion.

"It's that time of the month." He explained.

She chuckled as she took the leash from him, noticing how his fingers brushed against hers for a little bit longer than necessary.

Cuddy made her way to the downy bundle of white fur, lowering herself to the dog's level. House took it as an opportunity to check out her ass, as one would do.

Hector licked Cuddy's face as he realized he was going to be outside chasing squirrels and insects in just a matter of moments.

As Cuddy was about to make her way out the door when House grabbed her arm, turning her attention to him once more.

"I'll go with you."

She raised her eyebrows - "Your leg...?"

"It's fine, but I might need to cling to you for support..." He added with a smirk.

Cuddy acknowledged his attempt at making thing less awkwardly painful, grateful not to have him completely ignoring the subject.

They made their way out the door, planning to go for a quick walk in the park near Cuddy's house and get back to the house for dinner, the the apparent normalcy of the situation striking them quite forcefully. They did really look like a normal couple walking their dog, which wasn't even that bad at all.

"Listen, Cuddy, about last night..." - House started, she said nothing and kept walking with her arm around his - "... It was fun."

"Fun?"

He rubbed his face with his free hand - "Yeah, I mean, it was... good, c'mon, Cuddles help me out" - he nudged her, she knew how discomfited he felt when talking about feelings.

"Yeah... it was...** fun.**" She smiled at him.

"Fun, as in _wham bam, thank you ma'am_ fun or fun as in _let's do it again , preferably more than, once fun?"_

Cuddy smirked - "I guess you could say it's _I wouldn't oppose to do it again _kind of fun." - she let out a devious smile, making him raise his eyebrows in surprise.

House was preparing to lower his head to kiss her, they heard a soft whimper coming from the bushes...

* * *

So... that was that. The dog thing might seem a bit rubbish and random, but it has a purpose, don't worry.  
Now, here's the thing, I've noticed that the hits on each chapter are getting lower so I'm here to present thee with 2 choices:  
**1**. I finish this up in 2-3 more chapters, tie it with a nice little bow and we all move on with our lives;  
**2**. I keep going for god knows how long and some more plot lines will be brought into the story;  
It's entirely up to you, I am your servant, your minion, your jester. Your wishes are my command.


	14. W House

I have this written for two days but my beta has been MIA so since I didn't hear from her this one is not beta read. Every mistake is on me.

Randomness has a purpose! Just keep that in mind as you read this...

Enjoy!

* * *

The rumbling noise got both the doctors and Hector's attention, he had his spiky hears up, and the squirrel he'd been targeting for minutes, long forgotten on its tree.

"C'mon... It's probably a rodent." House tugged on Cuddy's arm, pulling her towards the park.

"A rodent that whimpers?" She asked rhetorically.

He sighed, he knew they weren't going anywhere until she had completely satisfied her curiosity. House knew how to pick his fights with Cuddy.

"C'mon., let's go see if there's anything over there!" She urged him.

"Fine... But if we fall on our asses while we goose hunt in the bushes, it's all on you."

Cuddy smiled cheekily, a lot of people found House's snarkyness and forwardness to be just plain jackassery or downright rude, but she sort of liked it, maybe one of the reasons for her much needed therapy.

They moved around the wild, stingy - much to House's complete displeasure - bushes, rummaging around the leaves and branches, but not finding anything, so, after much whining from House, they decided that, maybe, squirrels did whimper after all. Hector, on the other hand, wasn't letting go of the mysterious noise that easily, and as much as Cuddy pulled on the leash he wouldn't budge.

"Hector!" She called, only to be mercilessly ignored - maybe 'Hector Does Go Rug' was a good anagram for Doctor Greg House.

For a small ball of fur, the dog was quite the Obikwelu, after a few seconds of just standing there motionless looking ahead, he took off running, pulling Cuddy along with him.

She let out a yelp as Hector pulled towards a farthest part of the woods behind her neighbourhood, House limping hurriedly behind them, plotting a series of punishments for both Wilson and the dog if ever was the case of Cuddy getting hurt. Yes, he was being protective of her and no, nobody except for him was in need of possessing that kind of information.

With a major disadvantage in speed and balance, when House reached Cuddy and the now, tail wagging creature, he saw something that he knew for sure would bring him trouble.

Cuddy looked at him with pleading, albeit slightly sprinkled with mischief, eyes.

"Can we keep-"

"No."

"Please?"

"Nope."

House was immune to the woman's pouty face. Yup.

"But, House, we can't leave it here by itself..."

"We'll call someone." Came his prompt reply.

_Immune. Your feminine charms don't work on my powerful mind._

"Pleeeease?"

_Devil, be gone!_ He would not succumb to this woman's spell.

"House, we can't just leave it here... it's coming home with us!"

House gave in, again. The look of determination on her face, combined with a very convincing pout of her lips was enough to break him. He was just a man after all. A sissy, whipped, man at that. Thank Ra Wilson wasn't here to witness him caving in to a woman at the drop of an hat.

"Ugh, fine."

Cuddy smiled victoriously, she knew she'd always had some kind of power of persuasion when it came to House, but now that they were... whatever they were, it was easier to manipulate him. It was nice, weird, but nice, knowing that House, The Almighty Unreachable, was able to let his walls down enough for her to get in, even if just for a bit.

She took the whimpering bundle in her arms, with Hector never letting her side, strutting along the streets like a proud alfa dog, well, literally a proud alfa dog, for having found and rescued the unknown cub...

Oh wipe that smirk off your face now, will you?"

"Nope."

House and Cuddy were home, having cut their walk a little short due to the aforementioned turn of events. She was beaming with excitement whilst House was having a rather heated argument with his own manhood for having left him standing in a time of need.

They were back on the couch, but this time, there wasn't a giant gap between them, as it was usual. They were sitting side by side with their legs touching rather softly, she had the little creature on her lap, petting it delicately and speaking to it like it could understand a single thing she was saying. House watched the whole scene. Cuddy was a natural caretaker, she would take care of everything and everyone even if said someone didn't deserve it, he couldn't understand how someone could be such a genuinely good person, maybe it took some kind of special nucleobase that he lacked in a great amount or maybe she just bumped her head as a child, but whatever it was, whatever strange deficiency she suffered from, only made him realise that the woman beside him had more to her than just a sexy brain and a zesty bod'.

"We have to give it a name." Cuddy suddenly broke his train of thought, which he was grateful for, his inner conversation was getting way out of hand for his own liking.

"We need to take it to the vet, who knows how many diseases that thing could have?" Came his disgusted reply.

She rolled her eyes, which was something she'd done a lot in the past couple of weeks.

"Yes... But I want to name it first."

"Wilson." Hey, he might be against the idea of sharing the house with another bag of fleas, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a little fun with it.

"What?"

"Wilson" - he repeated - "It's an excellent name!"

Cuddy let out a laugh, a genuine laugh, something she hadn't done in a very long time.

"We're not naming the dog Wilson, House!"

"Hey, don't diss the name, just yet. If I'm going to cohabitate with this creature, it's only fair I get to name it."

"We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet!" Said Cuddy in between giggles.

"Works both ways..." Cuddy's laugh was somewhat contagious, he wasn't one to laugh that often, or at all for that matter, but he couldn't deny the way his lips were fighting against a smile.

* * *

The next day, rather ingloriously early, House woke up to an empty bed, he looked around the room for Cuddy but she was nowhere to be found.

After blinking the sleep away he noted the light coming from underneath the bathroom door. He wasn't known for his patience or discretion so, obviously, he got up and made his way to the door.

"Cuddy?"

Nothing.

"Cuddy, are you okay?"

He was about to call her name for the third time when he heard he muffled groans coming from inside the bathroom.

"Go away!"

"No. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Go, away, House!"

He sighed frustrated. Did the woman know him, at all? Of course he wasn't going to leave, not while she was imprisoned, by choice, inside the bathroom.

"Cover up, I'm going in!"

Without hesitation he turned the handle, he didn't care if she was going to be yelling at him, or worse, if she wouldn't yell at him at all.

"House!" - Her quick reflexes came in handy. As soon as she saw a glimpse of his tall figure opening the door, she turned her head away from him.

She was sitting at the hedge of the tub, facing away from the door, she had both her hands covering her face and he couldn't tell what was wrong with her - "I told you to stay away!"

"Yeah, and I didn't care. What's wrong?"

"Nothing" She emphasized.

"Sure" - he took calculated steps towards her - "You're hiding in the bathroom at 5 in the morning, that's like the definition of nothing."

Cuddy kept her hands on her face, which only preoccupied and infuriated him further.

"Show me your face."

She shook her head like an infant throwing a tantrum.

"You know I'm going to find out anyways, so you might as well saves us the trouble of having me shove you up against the wall..."

House was twice as big as her, so she knew he wasn't bluffing. Bum leg or not, the man was pretty strong (which came in handy in various situations, she might add) and her petit frame was not enough to fight him.

Grudgingly, she slowly slide her hands to her lap, allowing House to see what she was so determined to hide.

"Holy shit."

There was a giant rash along Cuddy's fair face, her lips were slightly swollen and her eyes were bloodshot.

"I think I'm allergic to Wilson..." She spoke in a soft voice.

House smiled, despite himself, the urge to make a joke about women and Wilson, the human, ugly tie collectioner Wilson, surfacing. It took all his will power not to do so. Cuddy was upset, and probably in pain and he knew if he made a joke of the situation he would only add fuel to the fire.

"C'mon..." He urged her.

"Where?" She asked, confused, looking at him for the first time since he found her in the bathroom.

He rolled his eyes "Disneyland. To the hospital, Cuddy, you need antibiotics. Lots, and lots of antibiotics..."

Her face fell - "I know how I look, House, you don't need to stick your finger in the wound. And besides, we can't both walk into the hospital at 5 in the morning wearing pajama bottoms."

"Well, aren't you lucky I'm not an idiot!" - he smirked - "I'll take you to Princeton General. C'mon, get your ass up."

If she overlooked the way he was obviously having a ball with her state of misery, House was being kind if sweet and, God forbid, kind of caring.

It was nice.

* * *

Arnold Dubois sat at his desk, his faithful smoking pipe secured tightly between his lips. He'd had some week! Of all things he'd seen when on the job, this one was definitely a first. Greg House surely took him by surprise, dropping a bomb on his lap and then running away before it exploded.

He glanced at the phone beside him, it was his duty to report the situation, it wasn't his problem anymore, but somehow he couldn't find the will to dial the numbers.

He smirked.

"People in love do stupid things..."

* * *

Thank you all for the almost 200 reviews, I appreciate them dearly. I know you'd like quicker updates but, unfortunately, I can't do that now but, hey, while you wait go check out "Celeste" by** SissiCuddles** and "Raising the House" by **nickythehippie** or anything by **partypantscuddy** or **givemekevinbacon**, they're actually good writers that are consistent with updates (except Sissi, but if I kick her ass enough times she updates once every 14 years - it's worth the wait though.)

Leave me your suggestions in the comments, they help a lot! Although I already have a plot planned, new ideas are always welcome.


	15. Caring, Not Sharing

Thank you all for your lovely reviews on the previous chapter, they keep my muse fed. Sorry if there are any mistakes I should be burnt for, my beta is busy at the moment but, hopefully, she'll have some free time soon :)

Enjoy!

* * *

They were quite the sight to see, marching down the walls of Princeton General. House limping hurriedly with Cuddy by his side looking miserably in pain. As they got to the registration desk, and bear in mind it was five thirty in the morning, they were greeted by a not so cheerful nurse that didn't quite met House's fancy.

House would glance at Cuddy from time to time, making sure she was okay, well, as okay as one can be with a face bloated to thrice it's normal size.

"You okay?" He was filling out the forms for her, it wasn't because he felt particularly chevalier-y towards her all of the sudden, but because he felt like it was the only thing he could do to helpl and if there was something he didn't like, it was feeling helpless.

She nodded painstakingly, somewhat hiding her face from his scrutinizing gaze. She felt naked and vulnerable, House being the last person she'd ever want be with during an horrid allergic reaction.

They waited for over an hour to be called in to see a doctor. House was fuming, he could tell Cuddy was putting up a tough front, not telling him how much pain she was truthfully in but he knew she wouldn't be able to keep the façade up for much longer.

After an eternity, they finally called her name.

She felt a wave of relief wash over her, hopefully they were just going to give her some meds and send her home, she definitely didn't feel like staying at that hospital any longer than strictly necessary.

House rose from his seat with an impressive knack for a person with a damaged leg, he didn't say anything, he didn't even ask if she wanted him there with her, he just took her hand and gently guided her towards the doctor's office.

By the time they got home, roughly two hours later, Cuddy went straight to bed per her doctor and House's orders. She'd been given some antihistamines for the allergy and antibiotics to help fight any infections.

House was surprisingly civil throughout the whole ordeal, there wasn't a single snide remark leaving his mouth during her talk with the doctor or even when the aforementioned nurse requested some more paperwork to be filled.

* * *

"Hey...Where's Cuddy?" Wilson barged in House's office, after being away for some time and coming back to a boss-less hospital, he figured if anyone knew why the Dean of Medicine was no where to be found, it was House.

"Under the desk." House replied dryly. He was looking at his computer screen, absentmindly throwing his thinky ball against the wall and catching it with the hem of his cane.

"Seriously, House, I-"

"She's not coming in today. She's sick"

Wilson sat down on the chair across from House, a genuine concerned look on his face.

"Oh... What happened?"

"She had an allergic reaction to Wilson-"

"Wait, what?"

The look on the oncologist's face was priceless, while being away, he'd completely missed the news of House and Cuddy's newest pet friend, so, naturally, it was completely foreign to him the existance of a canine baptized in his honor, or lack of thereof in this case.

House looked at him innocently "Yeah, Wilson, the mutt. Anyways, as I was saying, Cud-"

"What?!" - Wilson's reaction was everything House had hoped and more - "House, what the hell...?"

He smirked michieviously "Oh yeah, Cuddy and I got a dog now."

Wilson's mouth was agape, he was looking at his friend dumbfoundly, trying to make any sense of House's bombarding of new information.

Realization hit the younger doctor's face "You and Cuddy have a dog... Named Wilson..."

"Yup!" House shouted cheerfully.

"Why on earth would you- wait," - Wilson pointed a finger at his friend - "you and Cuddy have a dog? Are you guys serious now? Why get a dog?"

House rolled his eyes "Don't get your thong in a twist, Wilhelmina."

Wilson pursed his lips "House... You and Cuddy got a dog, together!"

House sighed, turning his attention back to the blank screen "It's not that big a deal. It's your fault, by the way, if you hadn't pinned that cantankerous creature on us, Cuddy wouldn't have found the stray."

"Of course this is all my fault, how couldn't it be?" Wilson replied patronizingly.

"I'm glad we agree."

"You know what?" - the oncologist rose exasperated from his seat, throwing his arms in the air out of sheer frustration - "You always do this - deflecting. When things get jaggy and the topic of discussion gets too intense for you, you deflect. You only avoid the subjects that matter to you, that will somehow show the world you're not a computed asshole with an allergy to the complete spectrum of human emotions." - he ran his hand across his face - "You're unable to admit that this... marriage, this fake marriage you imposed on Cuddy means something to you. Why her? You could have asked someone else to be your fake wife. You chose her because you like her, you want, god forbid, a relationship with her. I know you think your indecipherable but you need to start trying harder to conceal the fact that you're head over heels in love with our boss. So, yes, the dog is a big deal."

House just stared as the door shut behind Wilson,

_what crawled up his ass and died? Jesus..._

He wasn't head over heels in love with Cuddy, he scoffed, he felt some icky things when he was around her and they were kind of, sort of, in a way together, _**together**_, now, but that didn't mean anything. He was yet to tell her about his conversation with Arnold, something that would surely incentive her to kick his ass with his own cane. Whatever, Wilson could go take a hike. He knew what he was doing.

Well, sort of.

* * *

House left the hospital earlier than usual. He got home around five in the afternoon, hoping to find a well rested, healthier Cuddy, ready to yell at him for turning off her alarm that morning.

He found her in the bedroom, lying on the bed in a foetal position, not bothering to acknowledge his presence. Wilson was cuddled up beside her, trust Cuddy to keep hanging around the thing that's making her sick (he was an example of that also but let's not go there).

He shook her arm lightly "Hey."

Cuddy stirred, turning her head to House, smiling weakly - "hey..." - she said in an raspy voice - "you turned off my alarm this morning..." - he could see she wasn't mad or even the slightest bit upset, there wasn't accusation in her tone, she was simply stating the fact that he had been a sneaky little rat that morning, a caring rat nonetheless.

"I'm not sorry." He teased.

"I'm shocked."

She sat up straight but made a little too much pressure on her stomach, which caused her to wince just the slightest bit.

"You're still not better?" House questioned concerned, genuinely concerned.

"I am."

"I can see that."

"House..."

"Cuddy."

She rolled her eyes in annoyance while he looked at her thoroughly, examining her.

"I'm fine, really. I'm on Lantrisul, it's normal to feel some nausea and loss of balance-"

"You've been losing your balance? Did you faint? Landtrisul is-"

He stopped his semi rambly speech when he saw the look of pure amusement on her face.

"What?"

She pushed her body closer to him "Are you... caring?"

She chuckled as she watched how his facial expression morphed into one of sheer contumely.

"Is the Great Gregory House, King of Indifrence, caring about another human being?"

He frowned.

"I don't do caring."

"Sure seemed like you did."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

Cuddy stuck her tongue out at him, maybe it were all the meds in her system but she was feeling good, well, she felt like her soul would be coming out of her mouth at any time but, she felt good. With House.

He finally resolved himself to admit that he was, after all, human - "Well, I need to make sure you don't die. Where am I going to find a fake wife at such wee hours in the night?"

"It's 5 in the afternoon, House."

"5:27 to be precise..." - they smiled uncharacteristically at each other - "And besides," - he continued - "Who's going to feed and walk Wilson if you're down under with the worms?"

"Whoa, when you put it that way..."She intervened dryly.

"And the dog too" - he added mischievously - "The mutt needs feeding and walking too."

* * *

Cuddy was awakened when another jolt of pain ran through her head, she wasn't dealing at all with the antibiotics the doctor had prescribed her, add that to the Atarax she was taking to her allergy and she would be knocked out cold for the most part of the day. She made a mental note of requesting another, weaker, antibiotic.

She looked to her side and found House snoring lightly. She pursed her lips when a wandering thought came to her head: they were married for over a month now and the money he was supposedly getting was still no where to be seen.

Something was off, something she couldn't quite put her finger on...

* * *

Two weeks passed since they found Wilson whimpering among the bushes, the dog that is, the other Wilson just whined and bitched every time the other was mentioned.

Two weeks passed and not a single sign from Arnold.

Two weeks passed and House and Cuddy were still married.

Two weeks passed and Cuddy hadn't still gotten an angry phone call from her mother.

Something was definitely up.

* * *

I've been getting some favorite and follow alerts to this story, that's pretty sweet of you :) maybe take the next step and leave me a review? *hint hint*

~*Bless Lisa Edelstein for her amazing speech at the "Stand With Texas Women" rally, if you haven't heard it, you must. That sassy bamf threw some shade at Rick Perry like a baws.*~


	16. Scared of the Dark

Ahoy! I know, it's been over a month - oopsies! I've been busy with some stuff (work, exams, family - ew) and today was my first DAY of actual vacation. The story moves forward, kiddies, be not afraid, updating will be back to its previous schedule, although some delay may occur depending on my beta's free time.

Enjoy!

Oh and when I write 'wilson' instead of Wilson, I'm talking about the dog. Kay, I'll let you to it now... for reals.

* * *

She liked this. She liked being with House, living with him. It was... Not lonely. There were countless times in her life she'd felt alone, like there wasn't anybody who she could truly rely on or even just get a cup of coffee with, talk about her day or just simply spend some quality time with. No friends, no boyfriend, no one. She had her family, of course, but Arlene Cuddy wasn't exactly the type of person you'd want to comfort you in a moment of weakness. Arlene hated weakness.

Cuddy could still remember the nights she'd stay up, tossing and turning in bed, feeling sorry for herself, to the point where she'd cry until exhaustion had the best of her, which was normally 2 hours before she had to put on a mask and go to work.

There were moments in her life when everything was dark; there wasn't a ray of light at the end of the tunnel, just darkness. She could still remember falling, falling into a pit of nothingness. She'd keep falling and falling... And there was no one there to catch her. She lived surrounded by empty faces, by people who would force her to smile back not knowing how broken she felt inside by doing so.

But now she felt different. There was no pit, no falling, no nothingness.

And that was partly because of House. Yes, he made her life a living hell at work, with absurd medical requests and lawsuits abound, hiding from her, avoiding work and clinic duty like the plague. The man had forced her to marry him, for god's sake! Her future life suddenly turned upside down and her once peaceful, security-giving fantasy of a marriage to a kind, nice, solid husband seemed now insipid and boring. Even the idea of living together with a man, who didn't make her want to strangle him constantly, was now absurd.

Her future with House was a giant question mark hanging above their heads, she saw herself living with this infuriating man, sharing her life with him, without any sort of predictable or reliable source of stability. It's was scary and completely insane, but it wasn't nothingness.

She was happy, and maybe, going to Arnold for answers, would put an end to what she and House had, whatever it was they had. Would she risk it? Would she risk her happiness for the truth?

Yes...

It was decided. She would call Arnold's office that afternoon and finally complete the puzzle in her head. There were so many missing pieces, hiding the most important details, so many secrets to unveil. She needed to know.

* * *

"You antipodean clump of buffoonery!"

If you, by any chance, strolled by Dr. House's office that afternoon, that's what you'd hear. House was firing insults against his team, the accumulated stress and tension of the past weeks making his usual bedside manner seem enjoyable and his current mood to be atrociously painful for those around him.

"House, calm down, I was only-"

"You were only wasting my time, that's what you were 'only' Did you even go to med school?"

Chase was defenseless. The poor wombat knew better than to go against House's wrath when he was in one of his foul moods, whatever happened to the man to leave him in such state of profound asshood, he just hoped wouldn't last forever.

In all honestly, not even House himself knew why the sudden urge to punch everybody in the face. His day hadn't been particularly dreadful, he even managed to get a free pass out of clinic duty given his recent case, but still, he had something allocated in the pits of his stomach that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

'Maybe it's guilt' Oh, joy! The Wilson sound-alike, irritating-like voice was back! Of course.

And no, it was not guilt. Guilt over what?

'Not telling Cuddy the truth, perhaps?' Wilson voice pitched in.

Ugh.

'Or lying to her...?'

Was House really having an argument with a figment of his imagination?

'or...'- The voice spoke smugly -'...maybe it's because you are actually falling for her...'

FOR THE LOVE OF RA! - House mentally scolded his vivid subconscious for its pestering, self-destruct, Wilson-like ways.

House needed a drink

'What you need is to tell Cuddy the truth.'

SHUT UP, WILSON.

* * *

He made his way swiftly inside the house, it was way past midnight and Cuddy would probably be asleep.

She was sleeping, her back to the door. He made his way to the bed and sat down. House felt her breathing restlessly beside him, knowing Cuddy, she must have spent the whole day working herself off to exhaustion.

She was still on the meds, the antihistamines that is, having completed her round of antibiotics, but he knew she was still feeling sick, even if she tried her hardest to appear well and healthy in front of everyone. And that was scary.

He was starring at the dark corner of Cuddy's - their, whatever - bedroom when he felt something stir beneath the sheets. It was wilson. House ran his hand through the soft, caramel coloured fur, feeling the short hair of the sleeping animal underneath it. It's not that he hated the thing but it was thanks to it that Cuddy was sick. She was allergic. It hurt her to be around the dog, to keep the dog, and yet, she persisted on the idea of letting it stay. What if she let him be in her house for the same reason? What if, to her, he was just another helpless stray in need to be taken care of?

She stirred, mumbling incoherent words and rubbing her tired eyes. He kept looking at her face, even now, in the dark, with the scarce moon light coming from the rims of the window shading her features, he knew she looked nothing but stunning, and that was scary. Her beauty was frightening. It was powerful and enigmatic. It was strength and weakness. It was undecipherable. Magical. Never in his life had he seen such beauty in a woman, even back in med school, when he saw her, he was bewitched, trapped by that curious little freshman girl who would forever capture his heart.

The guilty was eating at him.

"House...?"

Oh that voice... That raspy, seductive voice she had, almost too harsh but yet sweet. Rough like a man's tone but caring like a woman's.

He wanted to keep watching her face, to get lost in her, absorb the images of that moon light shining on her lips and neck, store them, forever.

Cuddy sat up straight, mindful of wilson who just kept on sleeping beside her. She brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them securely.

"House..."

This time she wasn't questioning it, she was just saying his name again. He frowned. She sounded hurt and... No, she sounded hurt. Profoundly hurt.

He didn't say a word.

"I know."

_Oh, god..._

"You know what?" He asked but knew what answer she'd give him.

Cuddy was fighting back the tears, he could tell. He could always tell.

"You lied to me..."

His eyes weren't looking at hers anymore.

"... How could you...?"

His hand kept running through wilson's back, slowly.

"Please, tell me, House, I want to understand why you lied to me."

House was waiting for her to start shouting at him, to throw a lamp or something... But she never did.

"Why...?"

_Damn it, why did she sound to broken? _

"House." - she repeated, now a little more sternly - "Why did you lie to me? Why did you lie to me about giving up the money? Lying to Arnold... Do you have any idea what could happen to you?"

She was still not shouting. Still broken.

"Why did you tell him to give your aunt's money to charity?"

Cuddy was crying now. He couldn't see her face but he knew she was crying and trying to not appear so, sniffling back the tears which stubbornly fell down her cheeks.

_Damn it, she must look beautiful. Broken._

"Why force me into a marriage with you? Out of spite? Revenge? What, House?"

Her apparent calm was unsettling. She laughed bitterly. Broken.

"I feel hurt. You hurt me."

_I'm sorry._

"Cuddy..."

"Do you hate me that much?"

Calm, poised. Broken.

"No... Never." - he met at her face through the dark - "I didn't plan for it to happen. I did it because..."

She bit her lip. It was hypnotizing.

"... I don't know." He didn't.

"Well, you always did have a knack for screwing with me. Congratulations, House. You won. You've played and manipulated me again."

She was getting it all wrong.

"Cuddy..."

"No, don't. It's my fault."

"No."

She was getting it all wrong!

"Please, leave me alone."

"Cudd-"

"Please..."

House was waiting for her to start shouting at him, to throw a lamp or something... But she never did. And that was scary.

* * *

This chapter was particularly hard for me to write, I'm still not entirely pleased by how it turned out but oh well... please let me know what you think. **Thank you** to everybody who reviewed my last chapter and added it to their favorites and alerts.


	17. At Arm's Length

**A/N**: Thank you so much for all your sweet reviews, they really mean a lot! (I'm overlooking all the death threats though). Enjoy this next chapter, we're close to the end!

* * *

Cuddy was running frantically around the house as she happened to be, yet again, late for work - which had been something quite frequent in the past few days. She just didn't seem to be getting any better from whatever it was she had and the medicine she'd been prescribed made her groggy and unable to function properly. Of course that the amount of work she'd been leaving behind, due to said hours of tardiness, the time she was actually awake would always be spent working herself to the point she'd fall asleep at her desk, waking up with a G and an H imprinted on her forehead. It was almost like her life was a giant circular fallacy she had no way of getting out of.

As she ran out the door, with _wilson_ perched on the windowsill curiously, she made a mental note to make an appointment with her doctor, it was time she got over this pathetic phase of her life and give up the 'barely alive' look she'd been going for every day.

* * *

House was driving Wilson to the limits of insanity! Instead of acting his age and behaving like an adult and properly apologise to Cuddy, he would just pester him all day about the most tenuous things while evidently burking the urge to ask about her health and then obviously, because he was really just an overgrown ten year old, ultimately succumbing to his urges and demanding a full report on Cuddy's life, covering the fact that he was, in reality, worried about her amidst a sea of jokes and deflective comments.

"You need to break into Cuddy's office."

"Sure thing." Wilson was at his desk, it came to the point where he didn't flinch anymore when House came barging into his office.

House glared at him, sighing dramatically several times in order to get his friend's attention.

"House, I'm not breaking into your wife's office." - House cringed - "You want to get your head hung, that's on you, I'm not pissing Cuddy off just because you're a stubborn ass."

"And here I thought we were best buddies forever, pssh!"

Wilson turned his attention back to the immense patient files scattered on his desk.

"I want my friendship bracelet back."

Still nothing.

"You're useless."

* * *

How rude of Wilson to let him to tend to his problems by himself! Now House had to be the one finding a way to fix the mess he'd made with Cuddy, and he had no idea how to even get her to speak to him without facing the doom of impeding death.

He limped his way to the clinic; maybe avoiding work would get his creative juices flowing. At the nurse's desk, as usual, the jar of colourful lollies called his attention and he scavenged for the red ones, having to put his arm almost all the way to the bottom. As his fingers grabbed onto the wrapper he heard someone shout from Cuddy's office.

Nurses and doctors came running to the boss' office, House couldn't see what the commotion was about which only made his hate for mankind to grow fonder.

When he finally peeked into the glassed doors, he saw her sitting on the floor motionless, nurse Regina rubbing her back soothingly while Nurse Brenda shooed every prying eye out. His first reaction was to crouch beside her, the pain in his leg forgotten. Both nurses exchanged a curious look when House's hand met Cuddy's face and she visibly relaxed.

"Hey... Cuddy. Look at me." His words were assertive, masking the pang in his heart when she didn't move.

"Cuddy." She remained motionless.

"Cuddy."

His hand had now replaced nurse Regina's, as he rubbed her back slowly, waiting for her to react to him

After a few moments, she took a deep breath and finally looked at him; her eyes were rimmed with tears.

"What's wrong?"

"I... I feel sick."

House rolled his eyes, even in moments of distress he couldn't help his snarky side to come out.

"Well, yes. I got that but, I mean what, in specificity, is wrong with you?" It took all his power to keep his voice as soothing and calm as he could.

"I couldn't breathe. I don't know what happened."

House pursed his lips.

"Commoners, you may leave the room!" He told the nurses, who glanced at Cuddy for approval and when she slowly nodded her head they left the two doctors alone.

"Stay still!"

"House, I'm fine, go away!"

"Sure, almost drowning in your own air is exactly what one would classify as 'being fine'." House had been trying to examine Cuddy for the past half an hour but her stubborn ass self wouldn't let him do his job, yes, for the first time the roles were reversed and when he was actually willing to honour his duties as a doctor, she was telling him to do otherwise.

Damned if he understood women.

He ran his hand down his face out of sheer frustration, the stethoscope still around his neck.

"Will you stop being a child and let me make sure you're, in fact, fine or are you going to continue acting like an idiot and force me to call reinforcements on you?"

"Wilson is hardly a reinforcement."

"You're right. But Wilson with a tranquilizer is the Tsar Nicholas II of Jews."

She couldn't help but smirk, even if she still felt angry and somewhat disappointed towards him (not that she'd let him know that).

"You realize that's not a compliment, and what would that make you? Rasputin?" She snorted.

"Your words, not mine" He quipped back.

These rather flirtatious-y matches were the only way they knew to be familiar and safe around each other, so they cling to that, even if knowing that there were deeper issues, unresolved issues that they both needed to face.

Cuddy finally let him examine her. He thoroughly and with a shrewd wit performed his role as her physician, listening to her heart and lungs with that special focus he reserved only for his best cases, trying to find that one clue that would lead him to what was making her feel so ill.

He found nothing. He realised, just a few moments into his examination, he was probably not finding out what was wrong with her with a mere stethoscope and his sharp hearing but, in a very Housian-like way, he took advantage of his proximity to her and lingered for a longer period of time, relishing every moment she'd gasp when he touched her.

Cuddy wasn't stupid, she knew he was taking more than necessary time but she couldn't help herself to enjoy having him touch her again, even under those unfortunate circumstances. His hands against her skin gave her bigger sense of security than she ever dared admit.

Lost within her own ramblings, she didn't notice when he was finished with his attempt at diagnosing her and missed the complete look of helplessness that crossed his facial expressions, only to be replaced by his usual unsympathetic look a few moments later.

"You need to get checked out." He said flatly.

"Ugh?" His scruff voice broke her reverie.

"Your lungs..."

"Oh, yes, you didn't find anything?"

"No."

They both sat back against the soft leather of her couch, not quite knowing how to handle things.

In a very uncharacteristic way, House was the first to scumble the thick cloud of silence currently filling the room.

"Look," -he turned slightly towards her, she didn't pull back when his legs grazed hers**,** -"about the whole marriage thing-"

"House." Her tone was firm, it was a shield, a protection against pain.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it." He looked at her expectantly.

She let out a low chuckle.

"That's it? You say you're sorry and you expect me to what? Forgive you? Stay married, have 2.5 kids and buy a white picked fenced house? You've gotta be kidding me!"

The thing was, she might have been a tad bit overreacting, she came to realise later, but she'd accumulated all this anger towards him that was now gushing out of her. She lashed out.

"Don't be ridiculous, we'd have to get a room for Wilson too."

And also, his jokes were definitely no help.

"You're unbelievable." Cuddy rose from the couch, starting to make her way to her desk.

House grabbed her wrist, not forceful enough to hurt her but with enough strength to make her breath get caught in her throat. They're eyes locked, the characteristic silent battle between the two of them fueling the already heavy tension in the room.

"I'm sorry, okay? What do you want me to tell you? I don't regret it, I'd do it again."

"I want you to tell me why!" Her voice was rising.

He sighed defeated, breaking their contact as his loosened the grip on her wrist.

**[End of Part One]**

* * *

Next chapter will be up soon. As always, let me know your opinions/ideas and review!


	18. At Arm's Length - Part 2

Hello, hello! This is the second half of the previous chapter, I was supposed to have updated on Wednesday but halfway through my computer decided to be a little shit an I lost everything I had, that killed my writing mojo. It killed it dead, people. So, this part in unbeta-ed, I wanted to get this up asap.

But anyway, a big thank you to everyone who read/reviewed, I hope you like this chapter too.

Enjoy! :)

* * *

House was trapped, trapped between the love he felt for the woman in front of him and his fear of rejection. But he had to choose, would he risk his own self preservation and pride by telling her how he felt? Or would he just ignore and deflect as it was so usual him?

He was still silent on the sofa, with Cuddy looking at him expectantly.

"So?" She asked unnerved, this argument, or whatever it was they were doing, completely drained all her energies.

He looked at her, his face not giving away any emotion, it was plain and unsettling calm - or so she thought - on the inside, deep down, hidden under a mask of indifference and confidence, he was terrified of her reaction.

"Cuddy, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I've done this to you."

She was about to protest, to make him leave her alone while she dealt with her own issues, but something he said caught her attention.

"I don't regret it. I would do it again."

She sat on the small armchair next to the sofa, never once diverting her gaze from him. She said nothing.

He kept looking at the ground, his head low "When I started this I didn't mean to tell Arnold the truth, it was about the money and, for some idiotic reason, when he asked if I had a wife, yours was the only name that came to mind." - pause, silence - "I just... you and your annoying cunning ways of... pissing me off... gosh, Cuddy. I liked it, okay? I liked having you with me. I liked living with you and I miss it, even those ungodly veggy things you make me eat. I just..." - pause, grunt - "... I like you." - pause, sigh - "I shouldn't have lied, but then again, I am me so lying comes naturally. I figured if lying makes Jesus cry. Stealing makes Jesus cry. Jaywalking makes Jesus cry - A real pussy, that kid, by the way - I was already going to hell anyways so I figured if doing it was the only way you'd ever even consider being with me... well, I can only hope my room has a view."

Now, imagine the man you hate most in the whole of creation - the man who infuriates you and pisses you off beyond belief, the man who has trapped you into marrying him is also the man you can't seem to be apart, whom you're always, and will always be, attracted to - is pouring his heart out for you. Yes, good. Now, imagine your heart is beating so fast you don't seem to be able to say anything you so desperately want to, you are stunned to silence and the man in front of you is probably taking it all in and overanalyzing it to the maximum state of scrutiny, for all the wrong ways.

What do you do?

House, feeling like a tottering idiot, rose, as fast as his leg allowed him to, from his seat and made his way to the door, the sorrow of rejection stinging him deeper with each passing moment without a word from her.

"House..." Her husky voice filled the air soothingly, his hand was about to turn the door knob but he held it back.

Cuddy took and deep breath, their backs were facing, both doctors avoiding each other's penetrating gaze.

"I... This is as much as my fault as it is yours. I'm sorry too."

He nodded slightly, she didn't see it but she knew he did so anyway. As House was about to leave the room, her heard her whisper something that shouldn't have meant so much to him but that did.

"I like you too..."

* * *

"Dr. Cuddy? The doctor will see you now."

She was back at Princeton General, flashbacks of her first night there stubbornly rushing through her brain, once again remind her how safe and protected she felt around House. and how badly, and pathetically, she wished he was with her this time also.

The doctor, Dr. Peter Gale, was already expecting to see her, Cuddy had called earlier concerned that her given medication hadn't been the best, and Gale was enough of a conceited arrogant asshole to want to make everything in his power to prove another doctor wrong, especially if that doctor was female.

After the initial society approved niceness, the cocky doctor asked,

"Why do you think your medication is not the appropriated for your diagnosed disease?"

Maybe now she was a little bit relieved House hadn't come with her...

"I don't feel any better after taking it for two weeks so that was my first clue."

Gale smirked.

"Sometimes it takes longer for each person to feel any improvements on their condition."

"Not with antibiotics."

"We can do some tests but I fear we we'll just be wasting your precious time, Dr. Cuddy."

Cuddy was actually drowning in the copious amount of arrogance in the room.

"Don't worry about **my **precious time, _doctor_, I have more than enough time to take care of myself."

She wanted to finish the sentence with a 'thank you very much you gigantic twat' but she managed to contain herself.

Did she mention Peter Gale was one of the runner ups for the position of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital's Dean of Medicine and Hospital Administrator? Oh yes...

After being drained of some blood by an equally annoying nurse and being subjected to numerous other tests, that she was sure Gale had only asked so he could really rub it in her face on the possibility they all came back negative, she left Princeton General an ungodly four hours later wishing dead upon every ignorant tech responsible for messing up almost every one of her tests.

Finally at home, she let her defenses down, completely exhausted and ready to pass out for the next twelve hours.

Her now faithful companion happily content lying down beside her on the queen sized bed, his tail wagging subconsciously. Cuddy couldn't help but to, once again, miss the warmth and protection provided by House's body, not that she was a woman who usually needed someone to reassure her or check for monsters under her bed but she just missed him.

* * *

This was kind of a filler chapter, things will start happening soon *nudge, nudge*

It would mean bunches if you told me your opinion about this story so far, I've been feeling greatly insecure about my writing lately... pretty please? :3


	19. Breaking Walls

Hey guys :) It took me a little longer to post because I was trying to decide which plot to follow, I had two plot bunnies fighting for dominance in my head and it was driving me nuts! But my decision is made HUZZAH. To make it up for you, I wrote some fluff I hope you'll enjoy.

a big thank you to partypantscuddy (aka Sydney) for helping me with this

Enjoy le fluff *

* * *

He had followed her to Princeton General; he knew her well enough to understand how her brain worked when she was scared of something. She kept a strong façade, preventing everyone from getting even the slightest signal that she wasn't perfectly healthy and in control. But House knew how to crack her minuscule signs, the smallest of chipping in her nail polish, the constant fidgeting with her hands were all too familiar not to be noticed, at least by him.

He knew she'd go to the hospital again, and if he wasn't mistaken, she probably had had a ton of necessary and unnecessary tests at the expense of Dr. Douche's colossal ego.

He needed to get his hands on those test results.

Cuddy meant a lot to him, which was no secret to either of them at this point in their relationship, and when something meant a lot to him, his obsessive and somewhat, in a very specific point of view, sweet ways of showing it got the best of him. He hadn't slept for days. He needed to know what was wrong with her, to solve the puzzle and preferably get her to trust him again.

If only she'd stop being so damn stubborn and just come to him for help. Hell, her husband was a world renowned diagnostician and she was putting her health on the hands of a fourth rate doctor who wore way too much hair gel not to be shady.

Women!

"Go talk to her."

"Go find the Yeti."

"You know what, House? I'm done with you. Go obsess somewhere else - anywhere but my office - I've got patients to see."

Wilson, poor Wilson. Wilson was known as a kind, gentle and very friendly guy. Someone you could count on, a friend to help you get through the toughest times. A hard worker, passionate about his work. A people person. A teddy bear, if you will.

But even teddy bears had a limit. And Wilson's limit had been crossed.

House. Not just House, which was already in itself a giant pain in the ass, but House when he's obsessing over something he wished he wouldn't care as much about as he did. Did that make sense? Probably not, nothing in House's mind made sense to the big majority of human beings.

* * *

Clinic. The bane of House's existence, the Bermuda Triangle of Princeton Plainsboro and the poster for an idiot infested hell on earth.

House made his way out of the first clinic room in a very fashionable grouchy way, three cases of the flu, one of pneumonia and roughly fifty IQ points fewer later.

Going to the clinic was like going to a crappy, low budget off Broadway play: lots of C rated actors, lots of overdramatic scenes and noise - no pop corn.

As usual, there was a big commotion in the waiting area and House, as usual also, was drawn to it. There was one little boy crouched on the floor, like a deer caught in head lights, he was scared, that much House could tell. The boy wasn't hurt, at least not physically, House's trained eyes roamed over him and there weren't any signs of abuse or illness.

The nurses were worriedly trying to get the boy out of his chosen place of safety with no avail. He wouldn't bulge.

House's attention peaked.

Making his way through the crowd, not caring in the slightest if anyone got stomped by his cane. After earning a few glances from the nurses and ignoring them with usual practise, he sat down at the boy's level, mindful not to touch him.

"Call the front desk, tell them we found the Andrews' kid." Nurse Goldwin, the blonde dumb-year old, said in hopes House would scram away at the mention of their boss. Suffice to say House didn't even flinch.

The boy, no older than five, was intrigued by this strange man now sitting beside him, unlike all the other adults, he wasn't trying to persuade him out of hiding or to sting him with one of those nasty needles he was sure to be painful. Instead, the funny looking adult took out of his pocket a bag of chips he wasted no time in opening. After taking one out and popping it into his mouth with gusto, he extended the shiny yellow bag to him.

"Want one?"

The little boy shook his head no, but truth be told he wouldn't have minded a chip.

The adult kept ignoring him and munching on his chips. His mother never allowed him to have them and gave him carrots instead. He hated carrots.

"Mum says chips are bad for you..." The little boy finally ventured.

House glanced at him - "But they sure are yummy.." - came his uninterested reply.

"Doesn't your mum tell you not to eat them?"

Oh kids, gotta love the naïveté.

"Nah, that's the cool thing about being a somewhat functional adult. Why are you here anyway, I know the chairs in the clinic aren't the most ass-friendly but you gotta admit their comfier than the floor."

The little boy's eyes widened at the way House was talking to him, he almost seemed to be his age but that would just be silly and highly improbable.

House extended the bag to the boy once again, and this time he took some of the crispy chips inside it.

"I'm hiding... What's your name?" His curiosity let him to reveal some information about himself.

"House. Hiding from whom?"

They both stuffed their faces with crisps amid all the questions.

The boy frowned "House is not a name. I'm not hiding from anybody."

"It's my surname, my first name is Doctor. If you aren't hiding from anybody, then why are we sitting here? It's awfully uncomfortable, if you ask me."

"Doctor House?"

Okay, kids might also be a tad bit stupid.

"What are you afraid of, kid?"

The boy looked down, embarrassed to tell House about his fear of needles.

"I don't want to get a shot." he whispered.

"Shots are a pain, man, I feel you. I used to be afraid of needles too."

The boy's eyebrows shot up in surprise - "You did?" - he couldn't believe such a strong man could be afraid of needles too. - "How did you not fear the needles anymore? My mum says I'll have to get even more shots when I'm older." - the boy was noticeably unhappy with his fate.

"Well, I started going to a special doctor..."

"A special doctor?"

"Yup. Doctor Cuddly." - by this point the chips were gone - "She's a special doctor that makes you not scared of needles anymore."

"That's not true, you're just saying that so I won't run away again."

So maybe this youngling wasn't that dumb after all.

"Maybe... Tell you what, if I take you to see her and you get the shot without being scared I'll buy you two more bags of chips... And I won't even tell your mum you have them."

Just for the record, by 'buying' he meant 'borrowing from Wilson as a revenge for his not fulfilling his job of best friends duty'. And by borrowing, he meant steal.

After much calibrated thinking, the boy finally agreed with House's conditions.

"Okay..."

They both got up from the hard linoleum floor, the little boy took House's hand in his and walked beside him. The nurses were looking attentively to the pair.

"Tell Dr. Cuddy to meet me in clinic room 3, if you can be bothered" - House said in mock sympathy. - "What's your name again?" - He asked the boy.

"Thomas Andrews."

"And get me the file for Andrews, Thomas."

* * *

Cuddy made her way to the clinic at an impressive speed for someone in heels, after hearing something about House hanging around the hospital with one of her major donors' son, she was determined to stop whatever plan he had to get his way. Even if her feet her begging for mercy.

She entered the clinic room 3 without knocking, knowing the person behind it was expecting to see her.

"Hous-"

"Oh, she is very pretty."

House was sitting in the small table in the middle of the room, with a five year old comfortably sucking on a red lolly beside him. They appeared to be in the middle of a serious discussion.

"Told you she'd be pretty." He replied smugly, lingering his eyes on her.

She closed the door behind her, getting closer to the peculiar pair who seemed to be ignoring her.

"House... What are you doing?" She asked, not appearing to be angry, he noted, just intrigued.

"So glad you ask, Cuddles. My friend Thomas here," - he pointed to the little boy who simply smiled in return - "is reluctant to get his tetanus shot administered. You see... He' s not very fond of needles."

Cuddy rose an eyebrow amused by the whole thing, trying not to let House see it.

"So, I told him you'd be glad to make your special doctory trick so he wouldn't be scared anymore."

Cuddy figured out House's game, deciding to play along.

"Oh... You told him about my special trick?"

"I won't tell anyone, I swear, Dr. Cuddly." Thomas chimed in and Cuddy made a mental note to roast House about his little nickname, although she'd have to admit, she found quite sweet.

"Umh... You promise?" Her attention was now towards the impressed little boy.

"Yes!"

"Okay then..."

House was watching their interaction with a smirk, replacing it with a very serious face whenever Thomas looked at him.

While Cuddy read the boy's chart and got the adequate medicine, House performed his duties as official entertainer, distracting Thomas with stories about Monster Trucks and ugly Ducklings, leave it to him to come up with such things.

* * *

"And then-" - he paused for suspense - "the five ducklings flew away in a space ship, leaving Lupus, the orange elephant, to fend for himself, saving the whole village and the giant chocolate cane. The End."

Thomas giggled at the way House finished his story, his fear of needles and shots long forgotten. Cuddy had enough time to sting the little boy without him noticing it, too engrossed in the plot of "The Lupus who stole Saint Patrick's Day" to care.

The Andrews came shortly after, worried sick about their son, only to find him happy and giggling, too distracted to even notice their presence.

"Thank you, Dr. Cuddly! I won't tell anyone your secret!"

Thomas left with his parents, who, if House were corrected, would be dropping a fat check in Cuddy's hands soon enough. They were more than grateful for how well their precious bundle was taken care of.

House and Cuddy were left alone, at last.

"So... How baldy do you wanna make out with me right now?"

Cuddy looked at him with a playful mischievous grim in her eyes.

"That was sweet of you, House." She started coming closer to him.

"Cuddy, I think it's time you stop avoiding me."

"I know..." - She looked down - "I'm sorry."

House twirled his cane in his fingers, as the silence took over the room again. Cuddy was now sitting next to him, both of them finding floor watching to be a rather entertaining activity.

"I went to see Dr. Gale again."

"I know." He replied nonchalantly .

"Of course you do..." - Cuddy commented dryly - "You must also know the tests I had done."

House nodded. "His pretentiousness extends to his way of dealing with patients."

She smiled beside herself.

"I'm getting my results this afternoon."

He finally looked at her, eager to comfort her, a foreign feeling he wasn't used to have.

"Want me to come with?"

She met his gaze and nodded, "Yes, thank you."

House saw his chance and took it. He kissed her, softly, tentatively exploring her lips and studying her reaction to his touch. She didn't back away, she gave herself entirely to him, letting herself get lost amongst the marvelling sensations of pleasure floating through her.

"House..." - she said in between breaths - "What are we doing..?"

"Right now I'm pretty sure we're tongue wrestling, but I could be mistaken." He grunted eagerly.

"No... I mean," - much to his displeasure, she broke off the kissing, placing both her hands on each side of his face - "what are we doing, House? I can't get involved if-"

"I know." - he took her hands in his - "Look, I can't promise you anything but, hell, I'm trying here, Cuddy. I want to be with you."

"You want a relationship?"

"Yes. I'll go that far... God help me." he mumbled.

Cuddy was blissfully shocked at his reaction and kissed him again.

For moments they forgot about everything, they forgot about her health issues and the hospital. They weren't thinking about patients or budget reports, they were lost within the passion fervent between them.

They forgot about their marriage too... but that was a whole other issue.

* * *

I'll reveal what disease Cuddy has in the next chapter... maybe ;)

~Reviews are love guys, please tell what you think and don't be shy if you have any criticism to make (I know you're not afraid to threaten me with shovels COUGH)


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